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Okay first off I want to say that I really hope I'm not offending anyone. Over the past few years I've just been coming to realize that with the nonexclusion of faith and science, you read enough science to realize (at least in my experience) that there isn't a whole lot of room for faith. NOT in a bad way, though, what I mean is that faith is left to explain what cannot already be explained; for me, God is like the concept of infinity. Sure, I'm willing to believe he's out there beyond the edge of the universe and the creator of time and science, but the more I read explaining things with science the fewer places I'm able to find religious faith. This doesn't bother me too much other than I feel like I'm automatically on the defensive when talking about it. =( ANYWAY, that's not the point of this rant. That's just the context for what I'm about to say.
Retreats, in general, piss me off. Sure, you feel nice and everyone's huggy and lovey-dovey and WHATEVER. Retreats in which you have to keep some great big secret (ALL of it) piss me off EVEN MORE. I'm supposed to care because it's some mystery? Do I look like I give a flying fuck? So far every retreat I've been on has people saying "oh my god I feel so awesome breaking these social barriers to meet new people and broaden my life! I'm a new person!" Needless to say, that attitude lasts about 12 hours and they're back to being themselves. OR, what's even worse, they get that high being a total hypocrite ON THE RETREAT. Can you say Christian Service Workcamp? HOO BOY did I come away from that one seething. YOU CAN NOT CLAIM TO HAVE HAD AN EXPERIENCE WHERE YOU BROKE THE RULES THAT DETERMINE SAID EXPERIENCE.
So the big secret is some new form of making friends and breaking social barriers, whoopdedoo. Are you gonna do anything about it? No. Well then don't fucking talk to me like you're on some high horse or something. (This is not aimed at anyone reading this journal currently, just a certain third party. Or several.) I have found that my greatest asset in life is my ability to take everyone as a good person until they prove me wrong. I'm too trusting. The guy who stole over $200 from me and WAS A PART OF MY SOUTHWIND FAMILY and RUINED some of their lives that summer (stealing EVERY LAST BIT OF MONEY THEY HAD) and being a general creep? I still talk to him. It's the humane thing to do.
FUCK. That was Jesus' message, right? Be nice to everyone. Turn the other cheek. Give people a chance. Again. Again, and again and again and again. And have I been hurt? Hell yes. But it's who I was taught to be and who I'm proud to be and the fact that I don't give a flying rat's ass if I eat meat on Fridays in Lent has no impact. I'm not trying to follow a set of codes, I'm just trying to be a decent, well-thought, kind, and intelligent human being.
So anyone out there (third party) being a hypocrite this about this right now,please go fuck yourselves (haha, just kidding, had to get that out for the sake of ANGER RANT!!!1!) please think about that for a second. Or rather, a lot longer than a second, until you can reconcile it and explain it to me with justification. (Let's face it, I'm a pretty [if not OVERLY] logical person.)
(And to every single one of you who thought living a week in poverty and abstinence and in brotherhood with the poor meant not following any of the rules that established that brotherhood? You have no right to be bashing on me for "not going on" and "you'll never understand"-ing me about PATS retreat. Get this through your head: I DO NOT CARE.)
Retreats, in general, piss me off. Sure, you feel nice and everyone's huggy and lovey-dovey and WHATEVER. Retreats in which you have to keep some great big secret (ALL of it) piss me off EVEN MORE. I'm supposed to care because it's some mystery? Do I look like I give a flying fuck? So far every retreat I've been on has people saying "oh my god I feel so awesome breaking these social barriers to meet new people and broaden my life! I'm a new person!" Needless to say, that attitude lasts about 12 hours and they're back to being themselves. OR, what's even worse, they get that high being a total hypocrite ON THE RETREAT. Can you say Christian Service Workcamp? HOO BOY did I come away from that one seething. YOU CAN NOT CLAIM TO HAVE HAD AN EXPERIENCE WHERE YOU BROKE THE RULES THAT DETERMINE SAID EXPERIENCE.
So the big secret is some new form of making friends and breaking social barriers, whoopdedoo. Are you gonna do anything about it? No. Well then don't fucking talk to me like you're on some high horse or something. (This is not aimed at anyone reading this journal currently, just a certain third party. Or several.) I have found that my greatest asset in life is my ability to take everyone as a good person until they prove me wrong. I'm too trusting. The guy who stole over $200 from me and WAS A PART OF MY SOUTHWIND FAMILY and RUINED some of their lives that summer (stealing EVERY LAST BIT OF MONEY THEY HAD) and being a general creep? I still talk to him. It's the humane thing to do.
FUCK. That was Jesus' message, right? Be nice to everyone. Turn the other cheek. Give people a chance. Again. Again, and again and again and again. And have I been hurt? Hell yes. But it's who I was taught to be and who I'm proud to be and the fact that I don't give a flying rat's ass if I eat meat on Fridays in Lent has no impact. I'm not trying to follow a set of codes, I'm just trying to be a decent, well-thought, kind, and intelligent human being.
So anyone out there (third party) being a hypocrite this about this right now,
(And to every single one of you who thought living a week in poverty and abstinence and in brotherhood with the poor meant not following any of the rules that established that brotherhood? You have no right to be bashing on me for "not going on" and "you'll never understand"-ing me about PATS retreat. Get this through your head: I DO NOT CARE.)