(no subject)

[mercat]

Okay first off I want to say that I really hope I'm not offending anyone. Over the past few years I've just been coming to realize that with the nonexclusion of faith and science, you read enough science to realize (at least in my experience) that there isn't a whole lot of room for faith. NOT in a bad way, though, what I mean is that faith is left to explain what cannot already be explained; for me, God is like the concept of infinity. Sure, I'm willing to believe he's out there beyond the edge of the universe and the creator of time and science, but the more I read explaining things with science the fewer places I'm able to find religious faith. This doesn't bother me too much other than I feel like I'm automatically on the defensive when talking about it. =( ANYWAY, that's not the point of this rant. That's just the context for what I'm about to say.

Retreats, in general, piss me off. Sure, you feel nice and everyone's huggy and lovey-dovey and WHATEVER. Retreats in which you have to keep some great big secret (ALL of it) piss me off EVEN MORE. I'm supposed to care because it's some mystery? Do I look like I give a flying fuck? So far every retreat I've been on has people saying "oh my god I feel so awesome breaking these social barriers to meet new people and broaden my life! I'm a new person!" Needless to say, that attitude lasts about 12 hours and they're back to being themselves. OR, what's even worse, they get that high being a total hypocrite ON THE RETREAT. Can you say Christian Service Workcamp? HOO BOY did I come away from that one seething. YOU CAN NOT CLAIM TO HAVE HAD AN EXPERIENCE WHERE YOU BROKE THE RULES THAT DETERMINE SAID EXPERIENCE.

So the big secret is some new form of making friends and breaking social barriers, whoopdedoo. Are you gonna do anything about it? No. Well then don't fucking talk to me like you're on some high horse or something. (This is not aimed at anyone reading this journal currently, just a certain third party. Or several.) I have found that my greatest asset in life is my ability to take everyone as a good person until they prove me wrong. I'm too trusting. The guy who stole over $200 from me and WAS A PART OF MY SOUTHWIND FAMILY and RUINED some of their lives that summer (stealing EVERY LAST BIT OF MONEY THEY HAD) and being a general creep? I still talk to him. It's the humane thing to do.

FUCK. That was Jesus' message, right? Be nice to everyone. Turn the other cheek. Give people a chance. Again. Again, and again and again and again. And have I been hurt? Hell yes. But it's who I was taught to be and who I'm proud to be and the fact that I don't give a flying rat's ass if I eat meat on Fridays in Lent has no impact. I'm not trying to follow a set of codes, I'm just trying to be a decent, well-thought, kind, and intelligent human being.

So anyone out there (third party) being a hypocrite this about this right now, please go fuck yourselves (haha, just kidding, had to get that out for the sake of ANGER RANT!!!1!) please think about that for a second. Or rather, a lot longer than a second, until you can reconcile it and explain it to me with justification. (Let's face it, I'm a pretty [if not OVERLY] logical person.)

(And to every single one of you who thought living a week in poverty and abstinence and in brotherhood with the poor meant not following any of the rules that established that brotherhood? You have no right to be bashing on me for "not going on" and "you'll never understand"-ing me about PATS retreat. Get this through your head: I DO NOT CARE.)

Comments

[smwance.livejournal.com]

What really turns my nut about religion is two-fold.

First, being someone who steadfastly believes in God (call he/she/it whatever you like, I like "God"), I was encouraged about ten years ago when it seemed like science and religion were at least trying to meet halfway. I read some interesting books (e.g., Gerald Schroeder has some interesting insights) that seemed to be making some huge strides toward allowing science and religion to connect.

Second, I have a serious problem with exclusiveness. Even at my most religious period, I NEVER judged or turned away someone based on race, gender or sexual orientation. I mean, if Jesus didn't (and it's argued he was qualified for that), then why should I? We're all human, right?

These days, I have no clue what changed and made society take mighty steps backward, but it's pissing me off, too!

[mercat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess because I was raised Catholic I am still inclined to believe in God. I just think it exists outside our understanding, so, the more we understand, the more of a mystery He/She/It is. I don't really have a problem with that, but I think some people don't like that distance. However, I suppose I make up for it, sort of, because I appreciate the truths of most any religion, if they're universal. Such as, Christians might say that all of God's creation is a miracle and we should respect it. Whether or not I agree or disagree on whatever level, I can still appreciate nature as something greater than ourselves, and I really respect Shintoism for the respect they have for nature.

I think exclusiveness is terrible, too, which is why I always feel bad going on a rant, but sometimes you just need to get stuff off your chest, haha! A lot of times if I write stuff out it bothers me less, so blogging/journaling is very therapeutic.

I do think it's sad there's still so much hate in the world. =( And even though it's not explicity hate, just people going around causing drama in their personal lives, it still bothers me. Just because you're not out lynching people doesn't mean you're a saint, but it seems like too many people I know are inclined to act that way.

Plus, I think regardless of whether or not Jesus was the son of God, he was a pretty cool guy. Shared with everyone, made everyone equals, and just told everyone to be nice. Plus, as my dad says, if not agreeing 100% on the small stuff is what puts you on the bad side, we've got other problems. ;)

[rosesnrubies.livejournal.com]

I went to this retreat... maybe i should use quotes. Ahem, I try again.

I went to this "retreat" when I was in high school - it was called Happening. perhaps you've heard of it. They locked us in small un-airconditioned rooms in the dead summer heat of Tennessee for hours at a time all day for multiple days, because this is how we "grow closer to our brothers and sisters in Christ." By the end of the "retreat" I had literally charted a course of escape that involved jumping in a nearby creek and swimming to a bridge, hitchhiking to a bus station, and getting the hell home at all costs (luggage? who cares about luggage!)

Anyhoodles. I'm a Christian, I have my belief system, I respect others', but good gawd damn, locking people in rooms and not telling them wtf is going on, and then expecting them to be THANKFUL and EMOTIONAL at the end of the weekend is a bleeping joke.

One of the guys with us offered me $5 if I could start crying when I gave my "testimony" at the end of the "retreat"... I couldn't do it. I laughed instead :(

This may or may not be related, you're welcome to ignore everything I just wrote, but my experience did make for a hilarious English paper the next semester.

[mercat.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that sounds miserable. =P We had very nice retreats, other than the blatant hypocrisy that made me want to spork people's eyes out (uh, not really, I just use a lot of violent hyperbole in my speech, haha).

Yeah, I was raised Catholic, so now I am leaning toward saying I'm almost agnostic with a Catholic bent, I guess. In that, we should all be nice to eachother, and I think that the mysteries of life could very well be God's presence. I guess I have a lot of trouble with fundamentalism of any sort, but I have a LOT of respect for all the different religions in the world, because I think they each have different universal truths to each, and they all have something of value to say.

And I have to say, my workcamp definitely made for an intersting paper, too... I pretty much just said how I personally didn't have much of an experience because I felt that all my rule-ignoring peers totally ruined the spirit of it. Oh geez. I still feel bad for ranting in a paper but I'm glad I got it off my chest! Haha. As you can see I still kind of hold grudges... =P