mercat: (Default)
mercat ([personal profile] mercat) wrote2011-05-20 05:41 am

Seriously, LOTS of spoilers. Major spoilers.

Spoilers ahoy! My unfiltered thoughts on Pirates IV.

On the whole it was very enjoyable. Lots of action, lots of characters, and none of it felt too forced. A well-knit story which I was afraid with so many characters could easily spread into a web of chaos. Hm, although, now that I think about it there is at least one loose end I am curious about, although that could be me and not intentional. On the other hand, it wasn't so... invigorating, story-wise. Not as much investment? I'm not sure. The fact that I had half a flask of rum in my Coke? Quite possibly. I mean, I would definitely go see it again. And I didn't want to get out of my pirate costume (I drove home in it sans baldric). But unlike, mmm, the new Batman films, or the new Iron Man films, or even, hell, Indiana Jones movies, I just didn't feel like I needed to see it again, to jump up right now and be that character. Possibly, again, because I drank a little, but I wasn't buzzed at all so I can't tell you in the slightest whether that was it. Maybe they just didn't explore enough new ground, story-wise? I'm really not sure, and I can't place a finger on it, so I'd like to see other peoples' opinions after tomorrow, see what other folks are saying.

So, the details. Because honestly, it's me, what else would I bitch about and laud?

The Spainiards! Loved them. They were a good element to the story and not too invasive on the storyline. On the other hand, pretty sure the royal family were Hapsburgs and let me tell you not only did they not have black curls they were kind of ugly bastards. Mmm, European royalty, amirite? (Also, King George came out and all I could think of was "HITCHHIKER'S MOVIE VOGON, LOL" and then "heh look at all these Harry Potter actors". Brits, lol.)

Lots of action scenes! Yay. It's interesting that I pay attention to that now, ever since Indy IV when someone pointed out that he didn't shoot anyone this time around.

Dame Judi Dench's cameo was PERFECT. It totally threw me for a loop because I was expecting something entirely different. Loved it.

The CUPS! Oh lord I am a nerd for loving these cups, but I have this gut feeling that, because of the involvement of Spain and Ponce de Leon in this story, those cups were inspired by a certain supposed-to-be-the-Holy-Grail that we saw in Valencia. Loved that.

The music... eh. I'm disappointed in Hans Zimmer. He took back the project from Badelt after the first movie and has taken it... nowhere. This series needs new Action Fight Scene music. The first movie's theme is great! For the first movie. It felt rather out of place in this one, and I honestly did not notice the two new themes (Angelica's, mermaids') at all. There was only one point where I noticed the music was used effectively, and it wasn't... exactly because of the music. Enh. Le sigh, I suppose. (Klaus Badelt, PLEASE RECLAIM THIS!)

Okay, forgive me for this next one. When I saw the first Pirates movie, there were some moments that I knew exactly what had happened--when you weren't supposed to know what had happened--because they were nearly exactly the same as moments from, um, that favorite movie of all time. And I am not the only person to draw parallels between these series, the whole treasure-hunting theme and passion for hats are other similarities. And there were several moments in this film that I felt like the scenes had been nearly lifted--I don't think intentionally by the writers. But that they are either culturally significant enough to stick in our subconsciouses? Which seems awesome but so odd, considering how much fandom seems to not dedicate a whole lot of time to the films. It's so strange. (In this movie, particularly, the parts that made me question this were introducing the doll, putting a hole in the wine barrell in the fight, the "shooting the wrong person in the camera" scene which is the same thing written in Pirates I, and the "holy grail healing" scene I kept waiting to happen.

The last line felt... forced. Not by the actors, but by the writers. Are these different writers? (I'm guessing yes...?)

On "details I loved", silly things like the ships-in-a-bottle. Proof that there are still new ideas waiting to be tied in to the PotC realm without forcing into the William-Elizabeth arc. (And things like Teach, too, but I'll get to that later.)

Back on the "huh?" list, the Fountain of Youth does not actually seem to be the Fountain of Youth but rather the Fountain of Life, which is interesting considering the way you are always warned in fairy tales and myths to wish for both eternal life and eternal youth, and not just eternal life. But I liked their... tribute... to that. The "proof", I suppose? It was maybe too subtle for the story, but I do like that it was in there considering that it seemed like everyone else took the existence and success of the fountain at face value.

Speaking of the fountain, LOVED THAT TEMPLE. Would have loved to see it pre-destruction, but also, who the fuck built it?! I saw those fucking columns and the goddamned mosaics, what the fuck is that shit. We're in the Americas here, PLEASE. Either let it be natural or let it at least be in a style NOT FROM A CULTURE AN ENTIRE OCEAN AWAY. (But still gorgeous.)

And what was with that rock leaking water out of a crack with no seeming source?! Was that what the "water running uphill" thing was about? Because... weird.

Not sure what that symbol signifying the fountain/cave was, either. Seemed similar to the zombie scars, yet no mention made of any of that, really.

Barbossa's frogs... Loved them. Hated that they called them toads. Hated it EVEN MORE that the poison was "in their bellies" beause GUESS WHAT NOPE it's their skin. Tough shit, STORYWRITERS.

The minister? I liked him. They could have done more with him. Not sure what the him-being-tied-to-the-mast was about. Not sure what happened to him at the end. I was really hoping with all the pro-religion-anti-pagan-god's-creatures talk that there would be a better wrap-up with him and Syrena. (I think that's how they spelled her name in the credits, which, I see what you did there.) I mean, if you set up a whole thing where the "best" people are the most unlikely believers (him in her existence despite god's creation, her existence despite her "evilness") and the Spainiards destroying the fountain because it must be pagan (loved when the Brits tried to declare it their land, though, classic), and then just seemed to leave it hanging...? And with Teach's "soul" storyline, too? AUGH. This was the most unresolved plot, probably, but technically I guess it wasn't really very unresolved. Maybe just not resolved well enough.

So! My last bit. Edward Teach. Blackbeard. MY BABY. ("My baby?" My attachment to piracy, thank you Outer Banks.) First of all, loved loved LOVED that they used him. Going into the movie HATED that they DIDN'T USE HIS ACTUAL FLAG BECAUASE PLEASE, his flag is FUCKING AWESOME AND TERRIFYING and they only even showed it for a second and it HAD NO POINT. Anyway. Got excited for a second that the "Queen Anne's Revenge" wasn't actually going to be the Queen Anne's Revenge and that would mean he got to use his flag and it wasn't and he didn't and I sadfaced :C

Anyway.

Loved Penelope Cruz's role. Loved that they put the cannon fuses in his beard, though it only seemed to show for one scene so SON I AM DISAPPOINT.

What I did like about his role was that they fed it into his mythology. That he was killed but lived (though how he got his fucking head off the bowsprit I'd be damned to know), beheaded but his body swam around his killer's ship several times before sinking. That is actual mythology about him, he was so fucking terrifying.

And I liked that he had "zombified" men, which I think showed his evil, but you kind of have to know a little about zombi or possibly voodoo to get it--the idea that voodoo practitioners (and this is still believed in Haiti, iirc?) can have you breathe in this powder that is sort of a stoner-paralytic that keeps you physically functional but you slowly lose every sense of who you are and become, well, a zombi. (Yeah, "zombi" not "zombie", if I am using that correctly from what I've read.) You become a mindless slave. Which, in the movie... they were.

Also, WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE THAT WAY I LOVED HIMMMMMM ngl I was kiiiiind of hoping it would be Barbossa. New it wouldn't be, but :C Blackbeard. <3 Should have at least been able to save his daughter, not have Jack exploit him. Let the French and the English be the Bad Guys! He was still a pirate, and we're cheering for the pirates, AREN'T WE? Fuck the Dutch East India Trading Company, FOR FUCKING SERIOUS.

Not sure why his ship was enchanted, but, fuck, if we're giving him a fucking new hell-flag, I guess why not ruin his historical awesomeness further anyhow, right?

Speaking of, just last year they discovered what is believed to be the remains of the actual Queen Anne's Revenge. Basically "he sailed around here and no other ship would have SO FUCKING MANY cannons". AWESOME :D

Loved Barbossa's leg. WORKED VERY WELL FOR THE STORY, again, fitting pieces in instead of forcing them, good bit there.

I think that's all? Okay. More later, I'm sure, when/if I see it again, or have furhter realizations.



By-the-by, came with a preview for the next Muppet movie, coming out Thanksgiving with Jason Segel. And Amy Adams, which I didn't know about so OMG SO EXCITED. :D

Also: boots were a success. A little pinchy in the toes after five hours, sadly, but we shall see. Pissed I still haven't heard anything about my hat coming in, FUCKING SERIOUSLY. I WANT MY FUCKING PIRATE HAT.

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