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I'm reading the leaked Kingdom of the Crystal Skull script, and here's what I've got so far.
Just a warning, this (the comparison) started out semi-serious and then got progressively worse, and quickly. So... take it for what you will.
The opening: I actually think the one they have is better. Initially I think a lot of people wanted a "pre-adventure", which I still kind of do, but you have to admit that the opening is a good way to get people shocked and excited. It actually was, sadly, probably the most exciting part of the whole movie. The opening they have now, it's okay. I guess Yuri serves as Mac while reducing the number of Russians necessary, but you have to admit that Cate Blanchett is wicked awesome. So, I don't know. It could have gone either way. The rocket sequence deals with physics better (lol) though the Russians die just running from the bomb in this one, which I rather liked the "leaving Indy behind" thing. He still survives the blast in the fridge, which apparently was one thing (besides, I'm thinking, the drag race, the rocket sled, and the aliens) that Lucas wanted in there no matter what. So what I'm saying is people would still have probably liked and disliked the same things-- not believing the fridge thing, for instance. (Which I find hard to believe is the new "jumping the shark". It may have been pseudosciency but for god's sake it's a movie about aliens. I actually loved that sequence (though it would have been nice if there were more debris flying about when the fridge got launched).
The interrogation: they use this to explain the fridge thing, which I don't like. I actually like the filmed interrogation much better, the scripting seems less cheesy. Same with the getting put on permanent leave until notice. I liked that Stanforth had to resign in the movie (and the lines don't feel so cheesy, again), though in this script Indy goes back to his desk to pick up some of his things and says some really touching words to his class. This new script, like the movie, goes back and forth between cheesy and really good, and I think that would have been one of the really-REALLY-good ones. It's just good characterization. (I mean really good.)
After the interrogation, Indy is walking around drunk and singing. I really can't see that. Maybe because 1) when he gets drunk (to forget) in Raiders, he's quiet and depressed about it, and 2) I think the new film did a good job of showing that he's getting older (and more like his father). Him and Stanforth drinking wine and talking was good (though I could have done without the "my friend" tag on the end of that one sentence. I don't think anything in the whole movie feels so fake as that line).
Interesting scene with his dad, I like it.
I'm not quite sure why the mob just got dragged into this.
Okay... yay Marion but also wtf? I feel like we're just rehashing Raiders line after line here.
Indy still walking around drunk being watched by FBI agents: Yeah, him "talking to Marcus" about how he paid for his adventures in pain is good characterization, I think. Uh, deciding to steal stuff back from the museum AND doing a Raiders opening rehash? That's insanely stupid. Remember "it belongs in a museum"? Apparently not... I do like the sympathy from the FBI agent, though.
Bells feels straight out of Infernal Machine, but maybe that's because that frigging level had me stuck on it for waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. The roof part of the fight is kind of cool, though.
Other than a few lines here and there, I'm not really sure I like it. Indy is jumping between biplanes now...
Aaaaand Yuri fires at them via parachute. Un. necessary.
WHAT. THE MONKEY POOPED ON HIS CHEST? Seriously? <--I'll say it now: Jarjar
Exploding planes, Hovitos... we're still rehashing Raiders.
Ohhhh gooood the names are killing me here. It's not just a crystal skull it's the Crystal Skull of Destiny. In the City of the Gods (which alone would be cool), past the Valley of Dreams or some shit. (I have the distinct feeling we just walked out of Andalasia...)
And noooooooow the Hovitos are worshipping the skuuuull, whatthefuckisgoingooooon...
lololol dart frogs!
LOL THE COMMENT ABOUT WILLIE OMFG
That is possibly the best line IN THE ENTIRE THING
A snake swallows Indy.
...No seriously. Wtf? (Although, if they somehow based it off of quetzalcoatl, then cool beans. But still... no.)
Oooookaaaaay, we're dealing with giant animals here I guess?!
Okay, Marion is bitchin'. =D
Yeah, all these puns on "red ants" are a bit much, thanks.
river chase... blah blah blah... I can't decide which script is worse. But either way, it's pretty much the same story, and I'm not convinced it's great.
Kind of jumping to the end here, they're in the final portal room. It's interesting, there are actually a lot of parallels in this screenplay that are touched on in the book for the fourth movie (giant animals [snake and rat] and the conduits and stuff) that I wouldn't otherwise have noticed. But... believe it or not, I think the movie was a lot better than this would have been. Although I love the fact the aliens have "spines like headdresses" on their heads. Can you say awesome?! Maybe I just have a thing for feathered headdresses.
AUGH WHY ARE WE STILL REHASHING RAIDERS LINES
OH WOAH
WOAH
WOAH
WOAH.
Hold up just one sec. I feel like, even in a series where the Nazis are the classic bad guy, and we've already run into Adolf Hitler? THAT WE JUST PULLED A GODWIN ANYHOW. (Seriously, the aliens form into Hitler? Wow.)
Raiders ghost rehash...
Must admit they get a wonderfully destructive death, though. (I thought Spalko's was appropriate, though, I just know a lot of people wanted more... violence shown? Not exactly. Just that they toned it down too much.
Hey look! Now aliens are dementors. What-what?
Oh yeah, I totes build cties on top of crashed ships, don't you?
PLEASE. PLEASE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ADVENTURE HAVING A NAME AGAIN WITHIN THIS SCRIPT. (Seriously, what?!)
Also I'm glad to know we can hide mile-wide alien ships by just detonating an atom bomb in the middle of the Amazon. IT'S ALL COOL RIGHT GUIZE (I'm pretty sure here in D-town we just hide them in... you know... hangars?)
Wait.
What?
Henry Sr. is going to sing a song at the wedding.
I'm sorry, did we miss the point where he was James Bond in a former life? I think you wanted Willie Scott for that role you're chalking up?
Fade out to shooting stars. Please tell me I'm not the only one who heard the Star Wars credits music? oh snap
Just a warning, this (the comparison) started out semi-serious and then got progressively worse, and quickly. So... take it for what you will.
The opening: I actually think the one they have is better. Initially I think a lot of people wanted a "pre-adventure", which I still kind of do, but you have to admit that the opening is a good way to get people shocked and excited. It actually was, sadly, probably the most exciting part of the whole movie. The opening they have now, it's okay. I guess Yuri serves as Mac while reducing the number of Russians necessary, but you have to admit that Cate Blanchett is wicked awesome. So, I don't know. It could have gone either way. The rocket sequence deals with physics better (lol) though the Russians die just running from the bomb in this one, which I rather liked the "leaving Indy behind" thing. He still survives the blast in the fridge, which apparently was one thing (besides, I'm thinking, the drag race, the rocket sled, and the aliens) that Lucas wanted in there no matter what. So what I'm saying is people would still have probably liked and disliked the same things-- not believing the fridge thing, for instance. (Which I find hard to believe is the new "jumping the shark". It may have been pseudosciency but for god's sake it's a movie about aliens. I actually loved that sequence (though it would have been nice if there were more debris flying about when the fridge got launched).
The interrogation: they use this to explain the fridge thing, which I don't like. I actually like the filmed interrogation much better, the scripting seems less cheesy. Same with the getting put on permanent leave until notice. I liked that Stanforth had to resign in the movie (and the lines don't feel so cheesy, again), though in this script Indy goes back to his desk to pick up some of his things and says some really touching words to his class. This new script, like the movie, goes back and forth between cheesy and really good, and I think that would have been one of the really-REALLY-good ones. It's just good characterization. (I mean really good.)
After the interrogation, Indy is walking around drunk and singing. I really can't see that. Maybe because 1) when he gets drunk (to forget) in Raiders, he's quiet and depressed about it, and 2) I think the new film did a good job of showing that he's getting older (and more like his father). Him and Stanforth drinking wine and talking was good (though I could have done without the "my friend" tag on the end of that one sentence. I don't think anything in the whole movie feels so fake as that line).
Interesting scene with his dad, I like it.
I'm not quite sure why the mob just got dragged into this.
Okay... yay Marion but also wtf? I feel like we're just rehashing Raiders line after line here.
Indy still walking around drunk being watched by FBI agents: Yeah, him "talking to Marcus" about how he paid for his adventures in pain is good characterization, I think. Uh, deciding to steal stuff back from the museum AND doing a Raiders opening rehash? That's insanely stupid. Remember "it belongs in a museum"? Apparently not... I do like the sympathy from the FBI agent, though.
Bells feels straight out of Infernal Machine, but maybe that's because that frigging level had me stuck on it for waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. The roof part of the fight is kind of cool, though.
Other than a few lines here and there, I'm not really sure I like it. Indy is jumping between biplanes now...
Aaaaand Yuri fires at them via parachute. Un. necessary.
WHAT. THE MONKEY POOPED ON HIS CHEST? Seriously? <--I'll say it now: Jarjar
Exploding planes, Hovitos... we're still rehashing Raiders.
Ohhhh gooood the names are killing me here. It's not just a crystal skull it's the Crystal Skull of Destiny. In the City of the Gods (which alone would be cool), past the Valley of Dreams or some shit. (I have the distinct feeling we just walked out of Andalasia...)
And noooooooow the Hovitos are worshipping the skuuuull, whatthefuckisgoingooooon...
lololol dart frogs!
LOL THE COMMENT ABOUT WILLIE OMFG
That is possibly the best line IN THE ENTIRE THING
A snake swallows Indy.
...No seriously. Wtf? (Although, if they somehow based it off of quetzalcoatl, then cool beans. But still... no.)
Oooookaaaaay, we're dealing with giant animals here I guess?!
Okay, Marion is bitchin'. =D
Yeah, all these puns on "red ants" are a bit much, thanks.
river chase... blah blah blah... I can't decide which script is worse. But either way, it's pretty much the same story, and I'm not convinced it's great.
Kind of jumping to the end here, they're in the final portal room. It's interesting, there are actually a lot of parallels in this screenplay that are touched on in the book for the fourth movie (giant animals [snake and rat] and the conduits and stuff) that I wouldn't otherwise have noticed. But... believe it or not, I think the movie was a lot better than this would have been. Although I love the fact the aliens have "spines like headdresses" on their heads. Can you say awesome?! Maybe I just have a thing for feathered headdresses.
AUGH WHY ARE WE STILL REHASHING RAIDERS LINES
OH WOAH
WOAH
WOAH
WOAH.
Hold up just one sec. I feel like, even in a series where the Nazis are the classic bad guy, and we've already run into Adolf Hitler? THAT WE JUST PULLED A GODWIN ANYHOW. (Seriously, the aliens form into Hitler? Wow.)
Raiders ghost rehash...
Must admit they get a wonderfully destructive death, though. (I thought Spalko's was appropriate, though, I just know a lot of people wanted more... violence shown? Not exactly. Just that they toned it down too much.
Hey look! Now aliens are dementors. What-what?
Oh yeah, I totes build cties on top of crashed ships, don't you?
PLEASE. PLEASE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ADVENTURE HAVING A NAME AGAIN WITHIN THIS SCRIPT. (Seriously, what?!)
Also I'm glad to know we can hide mile-wide alien ships by just detonating an atom bomb in the middle of the Amazon. IT'S ALL COOL RIGHT GUIZE (I'm pretty sure here in D-town we just hide them in... you know... hangars?)
Wait.
What?
Henry Sr. is going to sing a song at the wedding.
I'm sorry, did we miss the point where he was James Bond in a former life? I think you wanted Willie Scott for that role you're chalking up?
Fade out to shooting stars. Please tell me I'm not the only one who heard the Star Wars credits music? oh snap
