oh god

May. 18th, 2012 12:58 am
mercat: (Default)
my tumblr has turned into mostly Avengers posts

and a lot of them are all SCIENCE BROS because Tony + Bruce = Science buddies 4lyfe is the BEST THING EVER

what has become of me

I blame the internet

but no, I just really love science
mercat: (Default)
So, first day back in my car, successfully went out shopping and bought some beautiful things such as stripey reusable drink straws in my favorite colors. And delicious chocolate with caramel and Hawaiian sea salt (om nom nom). And then I went up to Urbana to hang out with peeps and see Avengers...

...and got a speeding ticket.

Idk. I'm torn between being pissed at myself and just being over it. I mean, I deserved it, I was not paying attention and I was speeding. But I'm simultaneously sort of happy that I didn't start freaking out and crying, because I do not deal with social pressure well. But also... wtf? It's kind of assholish to be like "I'm proud I gave less of a fuck than I should". But I also don't want to hate myself. Not that I don't. I just hate guilt, which I don't know if it's my own empathy or the fact that I was raised Catholic, which I may never know. But I hate the fact that I am way too self-conscious. Second-hand-embarassment ruins so many social situations for me.

On the other hand, Avengers was PRETTY FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and Joss Whedon writes a goddamn beautiful piece of cinema. Nice, tight, snappy script. Characters with depth. Handled a multitude of characters fantastically well, without too much weakness to any. Although I hope Cobie Smulders' character gets some more attention in (a) sequel(s), as she seemed kind of like a "uh crap we have a lot of dudes in here let's get some chicks for balance". Granted, I would like to thank Whedon for actually being able to recognize that in the first place, which is kind of sad that I have to say that.

ALSO I fucking love Tony Stark. He + Banner geeking out was THE BEST THING EVER, and his dialogues with Steve were be-god-damn-utiful. Mark Ruffalo as Banner was surprisingly great, because I really liked Norton in the earlier film. But, I mean, does anyone hate Mark Ruffalo? Not that I'm aware of. Black Widow and Hawkeye were beautiful and I am SO EXCITED that she's getting an origin film! :D Loki, despite Tom-Hiddleston-with-black-hair, and Thor were aawwweeeessssoooommmeee. (It totally blew my mind when someone pointed out that Chris Hemsworth was Kirk's dad in the new Star Trek, which is adorable and honestly I think he looks much better without the Thor-locks-and-facial-hair.) (Then again Avengers is pretty hard to complain about, I mean two tech dudes and at least three other guys running around being muscly and badass, yeah.)

SOOOOOO I spent the ride home trying to channel my inner Tony Stark and not give a fuck about the fact that I got a ticket. I deserved it, I can pay it, and hopefully it doesn't affect the insurance too badly. Luckily my parents weren't too upset, which I suppose would have been the really worst part. (Also-- glad Whedon kept some of the jokes going from Iron Man 2 and such. Yay continuity!)

So, all in all, hopefully I can keep working on getting over social anxiety bullshit and get to work on summer projects.

Lots to do.

It's March.

Mar. 2nd, 2012 01:52 am
mercat: (Default)
I seem to have somehow done my amazing "crusing good, tank horribly" rollercoaster shit in the past 48-ish hours. Yesterday I just didn't care about anything. Not in a bad way, but in a "I feel like I'm letting go of things and maybe taking some steps forward" way. And today I'm just frustrated. I found out yesterday, after paying my rent and my credit card bill, that I am functionally broke. Whatever I had saved from working the past six-ish years is gone, so I basically have no wiggle room.

And no time to work. But we'll come back to that.

Thankfully, my parents are paying for rent and food... However, they failed to account for the fact that food is HELLA EXPENSIVE here in Hawaii where they import literally almost everything.

I'm not shitting you, even pineapples.

In Hawaii.

Where there is the Dole Plantation.

ON THIS VERY ISLAND.

Anyway, before I left my mom had mentioned something about "well we'll see how it goes and maybe readjust after a little bit" but every time I bring it up she gets super judgmental, like I'm spending it on all on alcohol and fast food.

I can assure you, that is not the case. I haven't bought a single drink, the only eating out I've had is a couple days' lunch from the school center, and I learned yesterday after reevaluating my budget that I basically can't eat out at all! Or, you know, DO ANYTHING.

Need new shoes? Nope. Go see a movie? Nope.

For once, I don't need to buy books, because my mom keeps shipping me mine from home. Hopefully she doesn't send me too many more, I already have an entire shelf-full, and considering I'm functionally living out of two suitcases that's a bit much. The ironic part of this? I still have a Barnes and Noble gift card from Christmas.

Luckily I don't have to be spending money on a car, but at the same time, not having money on top of not having a car just exacerbates my problem of feeling trapped here. Not on the island, but by my situation.

I need a new bike seat. "Need" because the one that came with the bike is SO SHITTILY DESIGNED. It curves a ton, which is nice if you're dicking around the block like a five-year old, but god forbid you need to commute with a backpack on your back! I have the nose turned down a SHIT TON already, and the fact that the back of the seat is curved up even more pushes you forward into the dipped center-- why would you design that on a bike seat-- so now you are not sitting on your butt bones but more on your crotch area and just FUCK YOU, SEAT DESIGNERS.

But I didn't go to the bike store, you know why? Because it is five miles away, on the other side of Honolulu, and even though it's only five miles it is through the city which is just terrible on bike. It makes me feel like I'm driving through Chicago. (They really need better bike roads here.) And I don't have the money to spend on what I would like to spend it on, which is 1) a new bike seat, 2) a second water bottle cage and bottle, and 3) a Longboard Lager jersey which is DEFS not happening because they are $75. Oh and also 4) a waterproof stem mount bag so I can stick my phone in there and use it as an odometer. I'd kinda like to buy a pair of cleats and some clips for my pedals, but right now that is a far-off dream. And I didn't feel like it was worth riding a half hour through traffic on rides I don't know with terrible drivers to the nearly-industrial part of town so I can sit in a shop for an hour while they give me a check-up on my bike and I feel guilty for buying things I need or want.

Anyway. So not going anywhere just exacerbates my feeling trapped, but I don't have the money to go see anything and it's kinda hard to go anywhere around here without a car. And I don't exactly have any people to just hop on the bus with and go to Chinatown or anything, because last time we tried that... OH THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE CRAPPED OUT ON ME. (Okay, not technically the last time, last time only half the people crapped out on us. But statistically that is 75% failure rate.)

And on top of that! The whole time I was at home I was talking about working at the zoo (trying to get in contact with someone there, it is RIGHT DOWN THE HILL IT WOULD BE PERFECT) and such, and mom was saying "oh, you probably won't have time for a job, most grad students are expected to be working on classes like a full time job". Now here we are, I could dip into my savings but I'm trying not to because I need that to pay for school, I'm eating whatever's on sale and probably not getting enough fruits and veggies, and my mom asks me why I'm not working. AUGH. Maybe because I spend more time in the studio in the week than I likely ever spent on homework for a single engineering class for a year?! And I am exaggerating very little. In the past three weeks I spent two entire weekends in the studio.

You know what we've also found out more of this week? Using the plotter is a $5 print job per page. Using the laser cutter is $2+ $1 per minute. So on top of the fact that the school doesn't have any student software licenses, we have to buy all our own modeling materials, AND PAY FOR ALL THE PRINTERS AND SHOP TOOLS PER USE. I understand you don't want kids in there abusing the 3D printer or hogging the laser cutter. BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT AM I PAYING YOU $14000+ A SEMESTER FOR IF I AM ALSO BUYING ALL MY OWN MEDIA?!

Speaking of which? I have to go to the bookstore tomorrow, and the craft store over the weekend, for guess what-- you guessed it-- MORE SUPPLIES! Meanwhile my checking account reads zero.

I think the part that's killing me the most that is on top of everything else, I would just like to go on a bike ride to train for TOSRV one weekend day, or ride down to the beach and swim and sit there for a few hours. Hasn't happened yet. Don't know how I'm going to train for TOSRV this way, all I can do right now is force myself to work as hard as I can to get up the hills on the way home.

Which, today, on the longest and steepest hill, I accidentally pulled out in front of a full-length fire truck thinking it was The Bus which would turn on the route rather than go up the hill. NOPE! So that was a little terrifying having them barrelling down on me while I tried to ride as quickly as I could...

So. My goals currently. See if I can find a part-time job that I can actually travel to. This is difficult because I don't really trust riding my bike or the bus at night, and I have to be working in the studio so many hours a day. Find a cheaper grocery store? I would love to find an Aldi-equivalent. I can't seem to find any coupons for any of the things I buy, and even though I'm a "club member" and I'm supposed to be saving, I really don't see much benefit currently. And I am trying, beyond all belief, to not just go to Walmart. One, it's downtown anyway so travel would be a hassle, but two, it's Walmart. Lastly, scholarships. Gotta find some. Found out today that architecture ones are unlikely considering that, apparently, white girls are the largest percentage of architecture students. But come on, there has to be an engineering/design one out there somewhere! Female engineers are one of the lower statistical groups! FUUUCCKKK

On the plus side of things, I shot off an email to the guy in the themed design group I'm in who sends out all the newsletters and things, asking him if there was anyone (around the offices) who could help me look for internships. Right away he asked what I did, and then I didn't hear back from him for a week. I asked if he had any ideas of people to contact, thinking there might be someone who was a membership person who could point me in the right direction. Turns out he sent out emails to different people and is trying to find someone who might take an intern/co-op. And then TWO I accidentally realized today he's like one of the top group member-people, and I'm a little embarrassed. I'm also a little uneasy because it's more out of my control-- I don't ask people about internships so I don't get any of the no's along with any possible leads, so I have no idea where the situation stands. I didn't know he was going to be doing the asking for me, so I should have told him more than just "engineering and architecture", but I figured he was busy and I should keep it as short as possible and that I could set up more of a sales pitch later on down the line when I emailed companies-- so hopefully I don't end up with a strictly-ride-engineering firm co-op, although that would still be fascinating I am sure. (Just not the kind of design I'd like to go into, I think.) ON THE OTHER HAND, when you have a big gun sending out emails to companies asking for internships and co-ops?! Hopefully that plays to my advantage, that he can catch the eye of someone really good who will give me a chance.

However now I am super-nervous because I don't know how long to wait to expect to hear back from anyone and I definitely don't want to bombard him with questions as he is very, very busy.

Regardless, I will be mailing him a thank-you note, because holy shit. I did not expect him to send out notes. I just expected, like, a "here's some potential companies that are members, shoot them a line" type email.

Ffffuuuucccckkkkkk my life right now augh
mercat: (Default)
We had this amazing architect come in to studio today and give a sort-of lecture, basically a talk session about his work. UHMAZING. I'm going to try to see if he has his work posted anywhere, because I am in serious house lust.

I also burned out on design stuff today, so there you go. I'm so brain fried right now.

He made some comment about going on vacation for three days and just working on a project and it made me realize something. Between the cats, my design ideas, and the things I accidentally think about strangers' children*, I think any emotional needs on that front are pretty much met. I think a big part of it is also the fact that I am pretty much a big kid-on-the-inside who just wants to design the next Disney World. In all truthfulness.

*I don't hate children, but sometimes I look at kiddos, and, when I'm feeling particularly upset with my generation, I think things like "you're going to grow up to be a total douchebag some day". This usually is exacerbated with spoiled whiny kids, like some of the ones I used to babysit back in the day. And up until now I've been in this weird, slightly bemused state of "well, I don't really hate kids, but I don't have a particular affinity for them"

ON THE OTHER HAND, we got critiques today from our studio professor to tell us where we stand. And, um... he didn't really critique me? He told me I was on the right path in transititioning from strictly engineering to architecture, and that I just needed to keep "injecting poetry" into my work. I was fully expecting him to make some comments on my model needing a little more attention, but... I guess not? Or he figures that will work itself out. He said something similar on Monday, that I got "most improved player" for the jump that my concept drawing made to my final model. (And I admit, my final model was drastically better, but mostly because my concept drawing was nothing special.)

Also he said our next project is Indiana Jones-ish. As in, literally mentioned Indiana Jones. ~yeeeees~ *Mr. Burns*
mercat: (Default)
I indentified an ancient Egyptian alabaster lotus vase from a fuzzy dvd still from memory, and that is normal for me. Reminding me once again that I have a strange elementary-school background in ancient cultures and not in 90's pop culture. I'll take it

In the continuing roommate saga, no immediate updates. Nothing else has gone missing, so I haven't left any notes. However I'm buying a 24 pack of ice cream bars tomorrow, so we shall have to keep an eye on that. On the other hand, another week's worth of dirty dishes sit in the sink, and yesterday's apparently-weekly have-people-over-and-cause-chaos-in-the-shared-communal-spaces continued. This time a big pot of hamburger helper something or other with cheese sits out (at least with a lid this time), and all the bowls used to cook it and eat it. And then all the bowls and cups and utensils used to make smoothies of some kind, and all of these eating containers are just strewn about the counters, including the bar counter which has a few bowls on it filled with food mess and water. Because the counter where people put their mail and shit is a good place for more dirty dishes. Also-also, no counters wiped down, more food on the floor, I don't go barefoot in this apartment anymore. Depending on how things go with the food missing or not missing, I might leave a note out about fucking cleaning up after yourself.

On the other hand, girl-roommate had a birthday party for her mom and knocked on my door to offer me cake, so at least we seem to be getting along. :D

Grad school, otherwise! Going well. Architecture is seeming to be a lot more work than engineering, but I can also pay attention in class more. Don't ever replicate floor plans if you can help it, and if you can't, get somebody minimalist. I had to do Wright, whose work I love, but jesuslordhell I spent five hours on one damn floor plan. It looks beautiful as all getout, though, that shit's going on my walls.

Speaking of walls, I need to decorate my room. Right now it's kind of... stuff strewn everywhere... to give my brain a sense of filled space. I, apparently, detest empty space. (So minimalism = not my thing. Not livable and it explains my compulsion for detailing.) I wish I could paint the walls a dark color, the Generic Dorm Color OffWhite No. 78 is really getting to me. I just watched all of Firefly and I have this urge to decorate my whole room like a space ship lodging, but that's just not really feasible. (On the other hand, I noticed a lot of architecture students seem to waste a lot of thin MDF after they use the laser-cutter on it... I may be able to salvage those scraps into something, but then what am I going to do with it when I have to move?)

Day 3

Jan. 11th, 2012 08:06 pm
mercat: (Default)
Well, things are going markedly better, or at least I feel like I'm handling them well so I'm in a better mood. My parents keep telling me not to worry about money, and I probably don't thank them enough for all they do for me, watching it seems like everyone these days go into college debt. Which I will, by the end of this, but I am so thankful I don't absolutely have to be working part-time or even full-time to cover rent, or drop classes to minimize tuition. So I'm still going to have to hunt down scholarships, and depending on how my studio class goes I might or might not be working (~oh boy~), but I know I've got them backing me up in case of emergencies.

It's weird, too, there are six other people in my doctorate class and they all keep asking me structural questions. I mean, I did a lot of technical classes, but we have a guy in the class who was a civil engineer for a few years, in the field! And I'm no expert on the artistic side of things, either, so... it's weird. And I'm not the oldest, I'm about in the middle age-wise. We have a great class dynamic so far though, everyone is very friendly and the studio teacher is very entertaining and seems to be one of those great people who can distill a lesson from every minute situation. (The only thing that he said that bothered me was that he didn't like Frank Gehry's work, but I can understand where he's coming from on that front. He considers it more of a "merketable item" than "architecture", as in, it's there for the look and less for the function. Which at first glance I could agree, but knowing how much work they put into the performance hall of Disney Concert Hall, I doubt that's the case. It's theoretically one of the most sound-perfect chambers in existence, at least in modern construction. On the other hand, I absolutely love that Gehry's buildings don't necessarily submit to function all the time-- I've never been to WDCH myself, but I get the impression from watching Iron Man and Get Smart [such an educational resource, amirite?] that there is a sense of discovery in the non-standard. You pay attention to the environment rather than have it function in the background, and you may notice that wall is curved to intrude on the hallway, or there's a little hidden nook over here that's purposeless. It would remind me of being in a cave and discovering all the mysteries of it, but I can see where in some usages [probably not such an occasional performance and public space] that would be an intrusion on the everyday.) (I have to wonder if he thinks the same thing about Gaudi's building with no flat surfaces?)

First art history class tomorrow, I'm excited. PLUS, the scenic design teacher opened up another section so I am going to take that as well! [EDIT: Class not starting until next week? Hopefully it will still happen D: ]

And HOPEFULLY I can get my ID by Friday and I will be able to ride the bus and not just my bike. It's a huge hassle to not be able to easily carry things on my bike, but I have to say that just being outdoors for that twenty minutes in a day has me absolutely in bliss. Nature does that to me, and having that time that I'm forced to experience it rather than just sit at my computer is wonderful. (Especially not having to be overly concerned about rain!)

Back on the not-so-wonderful side of things, I think the guys living here are complete slobs... the pizza sheet and cutting board are still out (from going on four days ago, now), and we must have had another round of those meal-bugs hatch (despite me killing every one I could) because there were a bunch more flying around today (even though the cornmeal got thrown out, THANK GOD). If I am the only one killing them... what the actual fuck?

And the toaster oven... I don't even want to try to make toast. There has been... sauce... or something... splattered all over the outside since the day I moved in (looked dried-on by then, too), and no one has bothered to clean that up, and there's a spill in the fridge that's the same way, and rather than put clean dishes away, someone or multiple some-ones just seem to leave their dirty cups in the sink.

WASH YOUR FUCKING DISHES AND PUT THEM AWAY.

So on top of the fact that someone forgot about food they were warming in the oven long enough that something chewed through the foil and birthed babies... what? Two weeks? A month? And the other messes?

At least one person in this household is a huge slob. And so far, that's the only thing I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with.
mercat: (Default)
So much to do, so little time. But a few important things, the good news and the bad news.

The good news: Someone finally created an LED lightbulb with incandescent tone! (Color? idk. I'm no lighting engineer.) It's only been, um, AGES since we've been talking about this in my engineering classes (aka why hadn't anyone done it yet).

The bad news: Instructables was bought by Autodesk. I have nothing against Autodesk, but Instructables is a great site that is fed SIGNIFICANTLY by the hackersphere. That just seems like conflict of interest to me (Autodesk getting sued for publishing hacking how-tos, maybe forcing use of their products as a requirement for publication), not to mention I just see it going down like LJ's slow death via SixApart and the Russian company. "Of course we listen to the users, we fuck up majorly several times a year and yet we never fucking learn!"

Then again, maybe it's a viable business model, Facebook doesn't seem to be suffering much from terrible fucking ideas
mercat: (Default)
So much to do, so little time. But a few important things, the good news and the bad news.

The good news: Someone finally created an LED lightbulb with incandescent tone! (Color? idk. I'm no lighting engineer.) It's only been, um, AGES since we've been talking about this in my engineering classes (aka why hadn't anyone done it yet).

The bad news: Instructables was bought by Autodesk. I have nothing against Autodesk, but Instructables is a great site that is fed SIGNIFICANTLY by the hackersphere. That just seems like conflict of interest to me (Autodesk getting sued for publishing hacking how-tos, maybe forcing use of their products as a requirement for publication), not to mention I just see it going down like LJ's slow death via SixApart and the Russian company. "Of course we listen to the users, we fuck up majorly several times a year and yet we never fucking learn!"

Then again, maybe it's a viable business model, Facebook doesn't seem to be suffering much from terrible fucking ideas
mercat: (Default)
Yeah, Casper actually does have an airport.

My sister and I just got back from seeing Bridesmaids. It was good, but it's not "the girls' version of the Hangover" like it was being billed. It's more of "the girl's version of I Love You, Man" which was supposed to be a chick flick for guys, but I wouldn't necessarily call it that. Anyway, it was good.

At one point they end up in Casper, Wyoming... but it was definitely not Casper. HAH.


Also-also, my sister pointed out they show Dayton in the center of the map in the Super 8 trailer... that's not Dayton, either. TOO MANY HILLS. That shit looks more like south Chillicothe.

This is what I do, I go to movies and bitch about details.

HAH.




(Also I got my grades back, I got a B- in Finite Elements?! So I guess that means I graduated successfully.)
mercat: (Default)
Yeah, Casper actually does have an airport.

My sister and I just got back from seeing Bridesmaids. It was good, but it's not "the girls' version of the Hangover" like it was being billed. It's more of "the girl's version of I Love You, Man" which was supposed to be a chick flick for guys, but I wouldn't necessarily call it that. Anyway, it was good.

At one point they end up in Casper, Wyoming... but it was definitely not Casper. HAH.


Also-also, my sister pointed out they show Dayton in the center of the map in the Super 8 trailer... that's not Dayton, either. TOO MANY HILLS. That shit looks more like south Chillicothe.

This is what I do, I go to movies and bitch about details.

HAH.




(Also I got my grades back, I got a B- in Finite Elements?! So I guess that means I graduated successfully.)

Well,

May. 9th, 2011 05:04 pm
mercat: (Default)
I am a graduate (assuming I didn't fail my grad-level tech elective, that was awful). I have no idea what I'm doing except for this summer, lots of projects and trips and relaxation planned because this year was a bitch.

I miss UD already, although I do not miss engineering.

I can't recall if I posted already, but Friday was a crazy day. We did TOSRV backwards, sort of, so we rode Sunday's part (up from Portsmouth to C-bus) on Friday to be able to go to graduation Sunday. I got 2.5 hours of sleep because I turned in my last take-home exam at 2:30 am Friday, and I did the whole ride both days (on the tandem with dad), somehow. Anyway we got two flats Friday morning but when we were getting into Chillicothe we saw a kitten on the side of the road that had been hit. It was maybe eight weeks old and its right arm had been snapped in two and was hanging on by some skin, and it was trying to crawl away. It was so, so, so sad. We took an extra plastic bag we had and picked it up and tried to look up an animal hospital on my phone, but we couldn't get anything, and, of course, we were on our bikes anyway. So we rode into town with me holding the tiny kitten in the bag in my hands on the back of the tandem and we took it into the sheriff. He called the dog warden but the dog warden wouldn't take it. My mom and I were in the lobby with him and he just looked at us and said, "I don't know what to do." My mom and I, I'm sure, were thinking, "are you for real? You're THE LOCAL AUTHORITY, you are local and we are from out of town and you don't have any ideas?" So we asked if he knew anyone who would or could take it and he asked around and found a lady in the office who called a vet's office who said they would take it. I felt so bad for it but I had high hopes because he was barely bleeding and he would sit curled up in my hands (which I made sure were not putting stress on his broken arm, not that that stopped him from trying to use it) and look up energetically whenever something caught his attention. We named him Lieutenant Dan because he was obviously going to need an amputation and we talked about adopting him.

However we just called and although he was doing okay earlier, he died in surgery Friday because of the massive trauma. The vet said he was probably either hit by a car or was hiding in an engine and was injured that way. :'C

Hopefully he had a calm, relaxed death and was feeling better with fluids and such (they gave him an IV and I'm assuming put him under for surgery). Most likely better than wandering on the side of the highway to die in pain or be eaten by a wild animal, but still sad. :C

On the lighter side of things, I thought it was a little funny that when we saw it both my mom and my first thoughts were "don't let it bite/scratch you, it might have rabies!" which was why I was looking for something to pick it up with. The reason being that a few years ago there was a story in a bunch of medical journals about a bunch of people who got rabies from a kitten that was being passed around at a softball tournament. =( And also my worries about bats, although bats apparently have rabies less commonly than thought. Not that that means you should treat them as if they don't, because if they do, and you get bitten or scratched or get fluids in your eye or a cut or something, you are basically screwed. If you think an animal with rabies has infected you, you can get a shot, but if you don't catch it until the onset of symptoms... Only one person has survived that. Ever. A 6-year-old girl with probably a lucky immune system and lucky circumstances.

But I digress... R.I.P. Lieutenant Dan, the cutest little pegleg kitten ever.

Well,

May. 9th, 2011 05:04 pm
mercat: (Default)
I am a graduate (assuming I didn't fail my grad-level tech elective, that was awful). I have no idea what I'm doing except for this summer, lots of projects and trips and relaxation planned because this year was a bitch.

I miss UD already, although I do not miss engineering.

I can't recall if I posted already, but Friday was a crazy day. We did TOSRV backwards, sort of, so we rode Sunday's part (up from Portsmouth to C-bus) on Friday to be able to go to graduation Sunday. I got 2.5 hours of sleep because I turned in my last take-home exam at 2:30 am Friday, and I did the whole ride both days (on the tandem with dad), somehow. Anyway we got two flats Friday morning but when we were getting into Chillicothe we saw a kitten on the side of the road that had been hit. It was maybe eight weeks old and its right arm had been snapped in two and was hanging on by some skin, and it was trying to crawl away. It was so, so, so sad. We took an extra plastic bag we had and picked it up and tried to look up an animal hospital on my phone, but we couldn't get anything, and, of course, we were on our bikes anyway. So we rode into town with me holding the tiny kitten in the bag in my hands on the back of the tandem and we took it into the sheriff. He called the dog warden but the dog warden wouldn't take it. My mom and I were in the lobby with him and he just looked at us and said, "I don't know what to do." My mom and I, I'm sure, were thinking, "are you for real? You're THE LOCAL AUTHORITY, you are local and we are from out of town and you don't have any ideas?" So we asked if he knew anyone who would or could take it and he asked around and found a lady in the office who called a vet's office who said they would take it. I felt so bad for it but I had high hopes because he was barely bleeding and he would sit curled up in my hands (which I made sure were not putting stress on his broken arm, not that that stopped him from trying to use it) and look up energetically whenever something caught his attention. We named him Lieutenant Dan because he was obviously going to need an amputation and we talked about adopting him.

However we just called and although he was doing okay earlier, he died in surgery Friday because of the massive trauma. The vet said he was probably either hit by a car or was hiding in an engine and was injured that way. :'C

Hopefully he had a calm, relaxed death and was feeling better with fluids and such (they gave him an IV and I'm assuming put him under for surgery). Most likely better than wandering on the side of the highway to die in pain or be eaten by a wild animal, but still sad. :C

On the lighter side of things, I thought it was a little funny that when we saw it both my mom and my first thoughts were "don't let it bite/scratch you, it might have rabies!" which was why I was looking for something to pick it up with. The reason being that a few years ago there was a story in a bunch of medical journals about a bunch of people who got rabies from a kitten that was being passed around at a softball tournament. =( And also my worries about bats, although bats apparently have rabies less commonly than thought. Not that that means you should treat them as if they don't, because if they do, and you get bitten or scratched or get fluids in your eye or a cut or something, you are basically screwed. If you think an animal with rabies has infected you, you can get a shot, but if you don't catch it until the onset of symptoms... Only one person has survived that. Ever. A 6-year-old girl with probably a lucky immune system and lucky circumstances.

But I digress... R.I.P. Lieutenant Dan, the cutest little pegleg kitten ever.
mercat: (Default)
My final senior capstone civil engineering design presentation was yesterday. 3 hours, 43 people, some couple-hundred (at least 250) powerpoint slides, and a seven minute video. It went, for the most part, pretty well.

However, the night before, I started freaking out. Which, to me, did not make rational sense as I had presented my slides at least six different times this semester. I knew the information. But the fact that I spent the seven hours of "sleep" in that half-awake state where you are waiting for your alarm to go off so you don't miss it, waking up every hour to freak out for 30 seconds before turning over and begging for it to subside, and giving up on trying to get any real sleep 20 minutes before my alarm was set to go off... To me, that is solid evidence that my public speaking anxiety is far beyond your average public speaking anxiety.

You take public speaking classes and they say, "oh, everybody gets nervous," and yeah, I believe it. But does everyone get uncontrollable shakes of their knees, their hands, their voice? Get dry mouth? Okay, yes, some people do. But what about shutting down into Emergency Mode when it is your turn to speak? Here is what happens (slash, happened yesterday morning). I start panicking. My stomach starts jumping, I start trying to control my breathing, even three years of drum corps can't help. I sweat and shake (and try not to bounce my knees in high heels so I'm not making noise backstage). When it is my immediate turn, I go into survival mode. My adrenaline decides it wasn't pumping high enough before and jumps off the high dive. No matter what I'm thinking about--slowing my speech, making sure I hit every bullet point of information-- my brain immediately shuts down the ability to analyze questions and focuses only on Not Presenting Any Information Wrong. If, in that instant, someone got hit by a car, I am the person you want. I jump into action and call for doctors and call 911 and try to do what I can. But public speaking? No way. And yesterday's experience was enough to let me know, as everyone in my group told me "you'll do fine!"--yes, rationally, I know that. But this is an irrational fear, and as someone once explained panic attacks to me in a similar light (or that was my experience with the one that I ever had--a zombie under your chair is NOT rational), this irrationality tells me that it is maybe not a normal level of anxiety for such a situation.

The interesting part is, I have to wonder if it's Nature or Nurture. I don't know anyone who seems to have such profusely strong reactions to public speaking as I do, but of course I could be wrong and they could just be very good at hiding it. But in fourth grade I got called out for messing up a reading in church, and in our eighth grade play the guy playing the lead antagonist decided to not memorize his lines. Which was fine and hilarious since he could ad lib pretty well, except for the part where I can't and there was a scene with just me and him and he STARED OFF INTO SPACE FOR AT LEAST A FULL MINUTE.

So, yes. There's that.

But also, I am done with engineering! (Except for passing this last tech elective and getting my paper degree.) HURRAH, on to better and brighter things.

I do have to say, my conceptual design for our convenience store was FUCKING FABULOUS and the site/civil team that decided to tell us the wrong site data so we had to rotate the building and kind of destroy the view can go fuck itself. The facade, that glass elevator, ALL MINE, BITCHES <3
mercat: (jedi master Pooh)
My final senior capstone civil engineering design presentation was yesterday. 3 hours, 43 people, some couple-hundred (at least 250) powerpoint slides, and a seven minute video. It went, for the most part, pretty well.

However, the night before, I started freaking out. Which, to me, did not make rational sense as I had presented my slides at least six different times this semester. I knew the information. But the fact that I spent the seven hours of "sleep" in that half-awake state where you are waiting for your alarm to go off so you don't miss it, waking up every hour to freak out for 30 seconds before turning over and begging for it to subside, and giving up on trying to get any real sleep 20 minutes before my alarm was set to go off... To me, that is solid evidence that my public speaking anxiety is far beyond your average public speaking anxiety.

You take public speaking classes and they say, "oh, everybody gets nervous," and yeah, I believe it. But does everyone get uncontrollable shakes of their knees, their hands, their voice? Get dry mouth? Okay, yes, some people do. But what about shutting down into Emergency Mode when it is your turn to speak? Here is what happens (slash, happened yesterday morning). I start panicking. My stomach starts jumping, I start trying to control my breathing, even three years of drum corps can't help. I sweat and shake (and try not to bounce my knees in high heels so I'm not making noise backstage). When it is my immediate turn, I go into survival mode. My adrenaline decides it wasn't pumping high enough before and jumps off the high dive. No matter what I'm thinking about--slowing my speech, making sure I hit every bullet point of information-- my brain immediately shuts down the ability to analyze questions and focuses only on Not Presenting Any Information Wrong. If, in that instant, someone got hit by a car, I am the person you want. I jump into action and call for doctors and call 911 and try to do what I can. But public speaking? No way. And yesterday's experience was enough to let me know, as everyone in my group told me "you'll do fine!"--yes, rationally, I know that. But this is an irrational fear, and as someone once explained panic attacks to me in a similar light (or that was my experience with the one that I ever had--a zombie under your chair is NOT rational), this irrationality tells me that it is maybe not a normal level of anxiety for such a situation.

The interesting part is, I have to wonder if it's Nature or Nurture. I don't know anyone who seems to have such profusely strong reactions to public speaking as I do, but of course I could be wrong and they could just be very good at hiding it. But in fourth grade I got called out for messing up a reading in church, and in our eighth grade play the guy playing the lead antagonist decided to not memorize his lines. Which was fine and hilarious since he could ad lib pretty well, except for the part where I can't and there was a scene with just me and him and he STARED OFF INTO SPACE FOR AT LEAST A FULL MINUTE.

So, yes. There's that.

But also, I am done with engineering! (Except for passing this last tech elective and getting my paper degree.) HURRAH, on to better and brighter things.

I do have to say, my conceptual design for our convenience store was FUCKING FABULOUS and the site/civil team that decided to tell us the wrong site data so we had to rotate the building and kind of destroy the view can go fuck itself. The facade, that glass elevator, ALL MINE, BITCHES <3

posticles

Nov. 21st, 2010 10:10 pm
mercat: (Default)
I'm actually liking this daily challenge thing. Some days I'm a little busy to catch it in time, but for the most part, I'm actually making daily posts. :D SUCCESSFUL POSTING IS SUCCESSFUL.

Today's! My favorite subject to study... Man, I don't know. I love learning. I don't always love lectures, or homework, but I love the sense of accomplishment from understanding something, and the perspective you gain from it. I love love love reading. In case you couldn't tell from the fact that I probably spend a minimum of $50 every time I hit the bookstore... which is like once a month. And the fact that I spend sooooo much time online reading blogs. I LOVE INFORMATION. I think it's all one of the reasons I chose engineering--not just so I could get paid more for doing technical stuff (which I'm actually starting to think I might hate, as a job)-- but so I could have that background and understanding. Math and engineering and physics can be challenging, but once you understand it it's kind of amazing, the way you can see patterns. However, I'm not good at learning from proofs or methodologies; I sort of work from multiple examples, working my way through them to understand the subtle differences. This poses a problem wherein most engineering professors don't like to do tons upon tons of examples, I don't have the time to be in their office hours all day long, and the textbooks aren't much better (they usually just have one or two examples).

I like history, but I've found that challenging, too. I was fascinated by ancient history when I was really young-- Native American, Egyptian, Greek, Hawaiian (I remember checking lots of books on those topics out in gradeschool)--but I found learning American history out of a textbook difficult because our textbooks were written really poorly. This continued into high school where I already didn't have a great sense of world history, but I gleaned a little bit here and there except European History with the best history teacher I've ever had. He told events like stories, and would sort of reenact them with the help of his "time machine" (his closet), which often contained props like Napoleon's really cheap bendy plastic sword. He would often stop his storytelling at the MOST EXCITING PARTS, glance at his watch and tell us, "oh, looks like we're out of time!" There was one day, I believe, he was "out of time" with 20 or 30 minutes left in class. SO RIDICULOUS. But to this day I still remember the whole crazy story of Rasputin's death and the Russian royal family's deaths. And why everyone thought Rasputin really was a holy man (from either heaven or hell) by withstanding poison and being shot only to drown. (I think. He might have also survived drowning and then died of hypothermia or something...? Okay, wikipedia tells me he did die from drowning, but what I was forgetting was that he was beaten and secured before being thrown in the river, but then broke free of these bonds to then drown.) ANYWAY.

College history is a lot better, because we had a "World-War-II-In-One-Lecture-Using-Only-Battlefront-Maps-of-Europe" day, which gives just the kind of summary on the war that our crappy textbooks lacked that is kind of like a five-sentence-outline version of the politics of the time and let me start placing events within that timeline. Honestly, whoever wrote the textbooks we used in gradeschool and highschool needs to reevaluate their methods. The problem is, they told history like a bunch of individual stories, which makes it very difficult for someone with no overarching view to tie them together. There were basically no ways for me to string everything together into one timeline, at least, not well. BUT. Strangely, I got another good "summary" of globalization through Hawaiian and Pacific history, strangely enough--because it's essentially watching undiscovered lands mature into modern countries in less than two centuries. A century and a half, even. Not to mention, the Pacific was a significant part of WWII, which is a good education on the Japanese side of things rather than the standard Nazi/European focus.

I also like art, because it gives more relationships for history, and understanding the context of famous art pieces makes them a lot more meaningful. Although I now find Warhol annoying. I understand his intent but him, personally... he seemed kind of pretentious in his videos when we studied him. Like the forefather of Hipsters. (For srs.) Also, art history also makes you more prone to getting into discussions about the meaning and value of art (see: trivia night two weeks ago, haha!).

(For the record the argument was whether or not modern art is worthless. My position is that modern art is much more meaningful than other art because it is completely expressive at it is freed from the necessitation of replicating life exactly--that is, the invention of the camera and video, etc. allows for much more "creation" in art. The opposition was saying that this is pointless because you aren't simply looking at something, the art is in the emotion or the context, which isn't the art itself. SO. LET IT NOT BE SAID MY ART HISTORY MINOR WAS EVER COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.)

So! What have I covered so far? Math, physics, engineering, history, art... Music? Music is my-life-outside-of-design. I could do it as a career if it were the right thing. I miss marching and I don't know what I'm going to do without anymore marching band... ever. Although I am taking tap next semester, so, currently, dance is my closest-approximation-replacement. And tap is percussive, so it's closer than, say, ballet, which I can't watch anymore BECAUSE THE DANCERS DON'T MOVE NECESSARILY WITH THE MUSIC /rant

Okay. Am I missing anything else? Oh! English (and languages). I love grammar, and spelling, although that is something my gradeschool also taught poorly that I picked up in high school better. One, because I was learning a new language as well, so there was a focus on grammar, and two, because we learned to diagram, which is also a focus on grammar, and it's basically all like one big puzzle. Now if only I could do better with strange verb conjugations! OH, SUBJUNCTIVE/PRETERITE/IMPERFECT/ETC TENSES. (I also miss learning languages.)

Uh... earth sciences? I guess that's what's left? Also fascinating. I love nature. I find psychology fascinating. Astronomy is SO COOL. It probably helps that my parents are doctors, so my sister and I got a lot of weird biology talk (and a lot of big words) and a pretty good grasp on some areas of science when we were young. BUT, my gradeschool had a completely awful science teacher for 6th/7th/8th grades (shared teacher), so that wasn't great either. Although our books were at least better, more diagrams, more straightforward, so I could at least self-educate to some degree. Now, another topic for another day, our lack of good science communication is evident in science fairs in gradeschool and highschool, because my version of "original experiments" were never quite on par with what they wanted. I still don't understand what they wanted. Because it wasn't a demonstration of a principle, but my ideas were more often too strange to be taken seriously, it seemed.

My science fair projects throughout the years: whether people could actually tell the difference between cola brands, whether kids carried too much in their backpacks, whether cat saliva prevented germ growth (e-coli or streptococcus? or both? can't remember], whether edible fauna (a.k.a. pansies) contains vitamin C, and whether fake or real wine corks do a better job of preventing germ spoiling of wine. I'm missing seventh grade's project... I don't recall at all, really. At any rate, these projects were all off the wall because everything else I had come up with would have "been done before" (meaning my teacher didn't really want me to do that specific project, although they never really gave much advice as to what exactly I could do to improve it) so my methods were always slightly bizarre, and my data was never quite clean enough, and other than the science geniuses who managed to do amazing things (these are the people who make it to international science fairs, I mean) A LOT OF PEOPLE BULLSHITTED THEIR DATA. And got better grades because of it, because their presentations were easier when they didn't have to answer difficult questions about their data's subtleties. So basically despite the fact that "the data you get doesn't have an effect on your final grade", meaning, let science do it's job and don't force a proof of your hypothesis, I generally got fucked over by being honest. Yes, I'm still bitter about this. WHY? Because ethics are important to me. Because human treachery starts early. Because I get punished for being honest. Because my generation clearly doesn't have a problem with cheating and lying to get themselves out of a challenge. FUCK IT ALL I'M SO GODDAMN BITTER ABOUT THIS SHIT.

Sorry to give this a turn for the sad for a moment, but I really don't tend to trust a lot of people my age, and this shit is why. (On the other side, I trust them more on the technical side than I trust myself because, unless I feel I can do something perfectly, I feel very unsure of myself and second-guess myself to no end.) Same kind of shit even happened on retreats! One of my many disillusionments with faith--all the people who act like their religiosity made them so much better than everyone else, when they couldn't even set aside their phones and cd players and everything else for our week of poverty. (To the point that there were prank calls and a string of tampons and pads let down from our room to the guys' quarters. Complete bullshit for a whole week.)

ANYWAY I LOVE LEARNING BUT DON'T TRUST PEOPLE MY AGE. They are not above buying their way out of things. =/

I kind of want to do an anonymous study of gradeschoolers and see how many bullshit their data now. Ugh.

(This is why I've started to think I don't really want kids--I look at adorable babies and toddlers and think, "some day you are going to be an asshole.")

I may or may not be a horrible person.

BUT I LOVE LEARNING :D

Oh, I guess, in terms of "favorite subject", specifically, I guess I could say marching. Because drum corps is my life, and I don't know what I'm going to do without being able to do it any more. (Teaching is definitely not the same and I don't necessarily have the desire to be a music teacher. Although I could do visual, but it's still not the same as competitive marching.)

posticles

Nov. 21st, 2010 10:10 pm
mercat: (Default)
I'm actually liking this daily challenge thing. Some days I'm a little busy to catch it in time, but for the most part, I'm actually making daily posts. :D SUCCESSFUL POSTING IS SUCCESSFUL.

Today's! My favorite subject to study... Man, I don't know. I love learning. I don't always love lectures, or homework, but I love the sense of accomplishment from understanding something, and the perspective you gain from it. I love love love reading. In case you couldn't tell from the fact that I probably spend a minimum of $50 every time I hit the bookstore... which is like once a month. And the fact that I spend sooooo much time online reading blogs. I LOVE INFORMATION. I think it's all one of the reasons I chose engineering--not just so I could get paid more for doing technical stuff (which I'm actually starting to think I might hate, as a job)-- but so I could have that background and understanding. Math and engineering and physics can be challenging, but once you understand it it's kind of amazing, the way you can see patterns. However, I'm not good at learning from proofs or methodologies; I sort of work from multiple examples, working my way through them to understand the subtle differences. This poses a problem wherein most engineering professors don't like to do tons upon tons of examples, I don't have the time to be in their office hours all day long, and the textbooks aren't much better (they usually just have one or two examples).

I like history, but I've found that challenging, too. I was fascinated by ancient history when I was really young-- Native American, Egyptian, Greek, Hawaiian (I remember checking lots of books on those topics out in gradeschool)--but I found learning American history out of a textbook difficult because our textbooks were written really poorly. This continued into high school where I already didn't have a great sense of world history, but I gleaned a little bit here and there except European History with the best history teacher I've ever had. He told events like stories, and would sort of reenact them with the help of his "time machine" (his closet), which often contained props like Napoleon's really cheap bendy plastic sword. He would often stop his storytelling at the MOST EXCITING PARTS, glance at his watch and tell us, "oh, looks like we're out of time!" There was one day, I believe, he was "out of time" with 20 or 30 minutes left in class. SO RIDICULOUS. But to this day I still remember the whole crazy story of Rasputin's death and the Russian royal family's deaths. And why everyone thought Rasputin really was a holy man (from either heaven or hell) by withstanding poison and being shot only to drown. (I think. He might have also survived drowning and then died of hypothermia or something...? Okay, wikipedia tells me he did die from drowning, but what I was forgetting was that he was beaten and secured before being thrown in the river, but then broke free of these bonds to then drown.) ANYWAY.

College history is a lot better, because we had a "World-War-II-In-One-Lecture-Using-Only-Battlefront-Maps-of-Europe" day, which gives just the kind of summary on the war that our crappy textbooks lacked that is kind of like a five-sentence-outline version of the politics of the time and let me start placing events within that timeline. Honestly, whoever wrote the textbooks we used in gradeschool and highschool needs to reevaluate their methods. The problem is, they told history like a bunch of individual stories, which makes it very difficult for someone with no overarching view to tie them together. There were basically no ways for me to string everything together into one timeline, at least, not well. BUT. Strangely, I got another good "summary" of globalization through Hawaiian and Pacific history, strangely enough--because it's essentially watching undiscovered lands mature into modern countries in less than two centuries. A century and a half, even. Not to mention, the Pacific was a significant part of WWII, which is a good education on the Japanese side of things rather than the standard Nazi/European focus.

I also like art, because it gives more relationships for history, and understanding the context of famous art pieces makes them a lot more meaningful. Although I now find Warhol annoying. I understand his intent but him, personally... he seemed kind of pretentious in his videos when we studied him. Like the forefather of Hipsters. (For srs.) Also, art history also makes you more prone to getting into discussions about the meaning and value of art (see: trivia night two weeks ago, haha!).

(For the record the argument was whether or not modern art is worthless. My position is that modern art is much more meaningful than other art because it is completely expressive at it is freed from the necessitation of replicating life exactly--that is, the invention of the camera and video, etc. allows for much more "creation" in art. The opposition was saying that this is pointless because you aren't simply looking at something, the art is in the emotion or the context, which isn't the art itself. SO. LET IT NOT BE SAID MY ART HISTORY MINOR WAS EVER COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.)

So! What have I covered so far? Math, physics, engineering, history, art... Music? Music is my-life-outside-of-design. I could do it as a career if it were the right thing. I miss marching and I don't know what I'm going to do without anymore marching band... ever. Although I am taking tap next semester, so, currently, dance is my closest-approximation-replacement. And tap is percussive, so it's closer than, say, ballet, which I can't watch anymore BECAUSE THE DANCERS DON'T MOVE NECESSARILY WITH THE MUSIC /rant

Okay. Am I missing anything else? Oh! English (and languages). I love grammar, and spelling, although that is something my gradeschool also taught poorly that I picked up in high school better. One, because I was learning a new language as well, so there was a focus on grammar, and two, because we learned to diagram, which is also a focus on grammar, and it's basically all like one big puzzle. Now if only I could do better with strange verb conjugations! OH, SUBJUNCTIVE/PRETERITE/IMPERFECT/ETC TENSES. (I also miss learning languages.)

Uh... earth sciences? I guess that's what's left? Also fascinating. I love nature. I find psychology fascinating. Astronomy is SO COOL. It probably helps that my parents are doctors, so my sister and I got a lot of weird biology talk (and a lot of big words) and a pretty good grasp on some areas of science when we were young. BUT, my gradeschool had a completely awful science teacher for 6th/7th/8th grades (shared teacher), so that wasn't great either. Although our books were at least better, more diagrams, more straightforward, so I could at least self-educate to some degree. Now, another topic for another day, our lack of good science communication is evident in science fairs in gradeschool and highschool, because my version of "original experiments" were never quite on par with what they wanted. I still don't understand what they wanted. Because it wasn't a demonstration of a principle, but my ideas were more often too strange to be taken seriously, it seemed.

My science fair projects throughout the years: whether people could actually tell the difference between cola brands, whether kids carried too much in their backpacks, whether cat saliva prevented germ growth (e-coli or streptococcus? or both? can't remember], whether edible fauna (a.k.a. pansies) contains vitamin C, and whether fake or real wine corks do a better job of preventing germ spoiling of wine. I'm missing seventh grade's project... I don't recall at all, really. At any rate, these projects were all off the wall because everything else I had come up with would have "been done before" (meaning my teacher didn't really want me to do that specific project, although they never really gave much advice as to what exactly I could do to improve it) so my methods were always slightly bizarre, and my data was never quite clean enough, and other than the science geniuses who managed to do amazing things (these are the people who make it to international science fairs, I mean) A LOT OF PEOPLE BULLSHITTED THEIR DATA. And got better grades because of it, because their presentations were easier when they didn't have to answer difficult questions about their data's subtleties. So basically despite the fact that "the data you get doesn't have an effect on your final grade", meaning, let science do it's job and don't force a proof of your hypothesis, I generally got fucked over by being honest. Yes, I'm still bitter about this. WHY? Because ethics are important to me. Because human treachery starts early. Because I get punished for being honest. Because my generation clearly doesn't have a problem with cheating and lying to get themselves out of a challenge. FUCK IT ALL I'M SO GODDAMN BITTER ABOUT THIS SHIT.

Sorry to give this a turn for the sad for a moment, but I really don't tend to trust a lot of people my age, and this shit is why. (On the other side, I trust them more on the technical side than I trust myself because, unless I feel I can do something perfectly, I feel very unsure of myself and second-guess myself to no end.) Same kind of shit even happened on retreats! One of my many disillusionments with faith--all the people who act like their religiosity made them so much better than everyone else, when they couldn't even set aside their phones and cd players and everything else for our week of poverty. (To the point that there were prank calls and a string of tampons and pads let down from our room to the guys' quarters. Complete bullshit for a whole week.)

ANYWAY I LOVE LEARNING BUT DON'T TRUST PEOPLE MY AGE. They are not above buying their way out of things. =/

I kind of want to do an anonymous study of gradeschoolers and see how many bullshit their data now. Ugh.

(This is why I've started to think I don't really want kids--I look at adorable babies and toddlers and think, "some day you are going to be an asshole.")

I may or may not be a horrible person.

BUT I LOVE LEARNING :D

Oh, I guess, in terms of "favorite subject", specifically, I guess I could say marching. Because drum corps is my life, and I don't know what I'm going to do without being able to do it any more. (Teaching is definitely not the same and I don't necessarily have the desire to be a music teacher. Although I could do visual, but it's still not the same as competitive marching.)
mercat: (Default)
So yeah, I didn't post yesterday because I stayed up until 5 working on a project. YAY ENGINEERING SOMETIMES.

My favorite Disney Princess movie... is probably The Little Mermaid, if you go by numbers. But I do enjoy the new Frog Princess. I've always thought being a singing mermaid would be pretty badass, though. Secret treasure fort?! FUCK YEAH!

Uggs: short for ugly.




Possibly coming up later: locked discussion post wherein I start with a joke and end up taking a horrible turn for the srs bzns. =/ I may or may not be taking things too seriously, BUT I CAN'T TELL. A personal crisis!
mercat: (Default)
So yeah, I didn't post yesterday because I stayed up until 5 working on a project. YAY ENGINEERING SOMETIMES.

My favorite Disney Princess movie... is probably The Little Mermaid, if you go by numbers. But I do enjoy the new Frog Princess. I've always thought being a singing mermaid would be pretty badass, though. Secret treasure fort?! FUCK YEAH!

Uggs: short for ugly.




Possibly coming up later: locked discussion post wherein I start with a joke and end up taking a horrible turn for the srs bzns. =/ I may or may not be taking things too seriously, BUT I CAN'T TELL. A personal crisis!

Man,

Nov. 15th, 2010 01:43 am
mercat: (Default)
I missed a few days worth of prompts, sorry. I've been looking at grad school stuff... I'm kind of intimidated :( I'm starting to think I should have done mechanical or computer science engineering or something like that, but five years ago I didn't have quite the same aspirations.

Mean Girls: is a fantastic movie. Fun to watch, amazingly quotable, aptly quotable on an everyday basis, and hilarious. Also, it's probably a good icon for women in comedy. I don't know much about the comedy forefront but I do know that it's considered a job where men flourish and women fail. And the guys I always get to watch this movie agree that it is not a chick flick like they expected, but a fantastic (and wonderfully quotable) comedy. So. We should all just stab Caesar!

I have a sister. She and I get on much better now that we don't see eachother much, but we do tend to snip at eachother if we're both home for a few days in eachother's company. We're strangely opposites, and I think the way we have turned out isn't exactly how I would have predicted it ten years ago. Then I would have said that she would turn out to be the sorority-sister arts major, and here I am in an engineering sorority and not wanting to engineer a damn thing (well, sort of). And she used to talk about starting a fashion company, and now she's pre-med. And I'm a nerd who loves to read, but she is probably smarter than me. Or she's just really good and guessing and BSing, which is both accurate and enough. I am a little too honest and a little too paranoid to be a good BSer. Which is a shame, really, because being an introvert in a world of extroverts is exhausting.

Buuuuut enough about that.

My favorite junk food... is probably Mountain Dew. I try to treat it like a dessert; one, because it has a lot of empty calories, two, because too much caffiene headaches gives me mini-migraine-mock-caffiene-withdrawal headaches and they suck balls.

BACK TO APPLYING TO GRAD SCHOOLS =/

(and waiting for it to be Thanksgiving so I can get excited about Christmas except I listened to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy cover of Mr. Heatmiser today and I DON'T CARE)

Man,

Nov. 15th, 2010 01:43 am
mercat: (Default)
I missed a few days worth of prompts, sorry. I've been looking at grad school stuff... I'm kind of intimidated :( I'm starting to think I should have done mechanical or computer science engineering or something like that, but five years ago I didn't have quite the same aspirations.

Mean Girls: is a fantastic movie. Fun to watch, amazingly quotable, aptly quotable on an everyday basis, and hilarious. Also, it's probably a good icon for women in comedy. I don't know much about the comedy forefront but I do know that it's considered a job where men flourish and women fail. And the guys I always get to watch this movie agree that it is not a chick flick like they expected, but a fantastic (and wonderfully quotable) comedy. So. We should all just stab Caesar!

I have a sister. She and I get on much better now that we don't see eachother much, but we do tend to snip at eachother if we're both home for a few days in eachother's company. We're strangely opposites, and I think the way we have turned out isn't exactly how I would have predicted it ten years ago. Then I would have said that she would turn out to be the sorority-sister arts major, and here I am in an engineering sorority and not wanting to engineer a damn thing (well, sort of). And she used to talk about starting a fashion company, and now she's pre-med. And I'm a nerd who loves to read, but she is probably smarter than me. Or she's just really good and guessing and BSing, which is both accurate and enough. I am a little too honest and a little too paranoid to be a good BSer. Which is a shame, really, because being an introvert in a world of extroverts is exhausting.

Buuuuut enough about that.

My favorite junk food... is probably Mountain Dew. I try to treat it like a dessert; one, because it has a lot of empty calories, two, because too much caffiene headaches gives me mini-migraine-mock-caffiene-withdrawal headaches and they suck balls.

BACK TO APPLYING TO GRAD SCHOOLS =/

(and waiting for it to be Thanksgiving so I can get excited about Christmas except I listened to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy cover of Mr. Heatmiser today and I DON'T CARE)

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