mercat: (mouse icon)
Tumblr is down which means ~hooray I cannot wait for all the apocalypse jokes when it's back up~ just kidding I'm gonna punch babies.

Aaaaanyway, so I'm packing up all my shit to mail at the post office today. Lesson number one is: definitely use Priority Mail flat-rate boxes if possible. I mailed a box that was maybe sliiightly larger than their large $16 box and it cost me $40. I don't mind too much because I have kind of a soft spot for the USPS and all the shit they're going through with Congress, but yikes, I could have almost mailed three boxes for that amount.

IN OTHER NEWS HOW DID I GET SO MANY BOOKS OUT HERE IN ONE YEAR?! JESUS. Which made me realize that in a few years I will have PROBABLY A PERMANENT PROFESSIONAL JOB SOMEWHERE and I will have to move all my stuff out of my parents' house and I will own my own place and that is WEIRD. It just is.

Not that I have ever expected to stay in their awesome attic forever, of course, it just... idk, I guess I've been busy moving and schooling and I never really thought about it. In three years, their attic will be devoid of my awesome stuff. And I will no longer have an awesome attic space with a claw-foot tub and FABULOUS WOODEN WALLS AND CEILING (I love it)

Blaaaaah.

Man, I'm just whining about everything this year. I need to find a more constructive method of venting. :P
mercat: (Default)
I was up until 5:30 last night working on an art project. YAY. I'm glad I got a good part of it finished (despite the fact she's probably not going to grade them) because I can put it in my portfolio. Which is actually looking pretty threadbare.

Final prompt of the month: honestly, I'm too tired/lazy to upload and post a picture right now. So... deal with it. =)

I'm considering doing a daily challenge for December since I don't have any Hardy Boys books on me, although I don't really have time this week anyway, but I'm considering doing a daily doodle or something.

Oh, as I discovered last night, my solution to getting bored in the art classroom is either to be so-tired-my-brain-is-barely-functioning or, revelation: put on crime shows while I draw. Crime shows are perfect because the exposition is usually explicit so that clueless people understand what's going on in the "science" side of it, whereas comedies/dramas rely a lot on slapstick humor or conveying emotions through body language. (Family Guy is particularly frustrating in this department.) Now if only House were on more often, I could catch up on all the seasons I haven't seen! Or Bones, that's not on much either. I've seen pretty much every episode of NCIS that USA has to air, and I've seen a lot of CSI, so I have to try to find not-NCIS-not-CSI most of the time. Which leaves Law & Order, CSI:NY (BUT NEVER MIAMI), and Psych and Bones on the rarer occasions they're on. Also I discovered Leverage, which is pretty good.

posticles

Nov. 21st, 2010 10:10 pm
mercat: (Default)
I'm actually liking this daily challenge thing. Some days I'm a little busy to catch it in time, but for the most part, I'm actually making daily posts. :D SUCCESSFUL POSTING IS SUCCESSFUL.

Today's! My favorite subject to study... Man, I don't know. I love learning. I don't always love lectures, or homework, but I love the sense of accomplishment from understanding something, and the perspective you gain from it. I love love love reading. In case you couldn't tell from the fact that I probably spend a minimum of $50 every time I hit the bookstore... which is like once a month. And the fact that I spend sooooo much time online reading blogs. I LOVE INFORMATION. I think it's all one of the reasons I chose engineering--not just so I could get paid more for doing technical stuff (which I'm actually starting to think I might hate, as a job)-- but so I could have that background and understanding. Math and engineering and physics can be challenging, but once you understand it it's kind of amazing, the way you can see patterns. However, I'm not good at learning from proofs or methodologies; I sort of work from multiple examples, working my way through them to understand the subtle differences. This poses a problem wherein most engineering professors don't like to do tons upon tons of examples, I don't have the time to be in their office hours all day long, and the textbooks aren't much better (they usually just have one or two examples).

I like history, but I've found that challenging, too. I was fascinated by ancient history when I was really young-- Native American, Egyptian, Greek, Hawaiian (I remember checking lots of books on those topics out in gradeschool)--but I found learning American history out of a textbook difficult because our textbooks were written really poorly. This continued into high school where I already didn't have a great sense of world history, but I gleaned a little bit here and there except European History with the best history teacher I've ever had. He told events like stories, and would sort of reenact them with the help of his "time machine" (his closet), which often contained props like Napoleon's really cheap bendy plastic sword. He would often stop his storytelling at the MOST EXCITING PARTS, glance at his watch and tell us, "oh, looks like we're out of time!" There was one day, I believe, he was "out of time" with 20 or 30 minutes left in class. SO RIDICULOUS. But to this day I still remember the whole crazy story of Rasputin's death and the Russian royal family's deaths. And why everyone thought Rasputin really was a holy man (from either heaven or hell) by withstanding poison and being shot only to drown. (I think. He might have also survived drowning and then died of hypothermia or something...? Okay, wikipedia tells me he did die from drowning, but what I was forgetting was that he was beaten and secured before being thrown in the river, but then broke free of these bonds to then drown.) ANYWAY.

College history is a lot better, because we had a "World-War-II-In-One-Lecture-Using-Only-Battlefront-Maps-of-Europe" day, which gives just the kind of summary on the war that our crappy textbooks lacked that is kind of like a five-sentence-outline version of the politics of the time and let me start placing events within that timeline. Honestly, whoever wrote the textbooks we used in gradeschool and highschool needs to reevaluate their methods. The problem is, they told history like a bunch of individual stories, which makes it very difficult for someone with no overarching view to tie them together. There were basically no ways for me to string everything together into one timeline, at least, not well. BUT. Strangely, I got another good "summary" of globalization through Hawaiian and Pacific history, strangely enough--because it's essentially watching undiscovered lands mature into modern countries in less than two centuries. A century and a half, even. Not to mention, the Pacific was a significant part of WWII, which is a good education on the Japanese side of things rather than the standard Nazi/European focus.

I also like art, because it gives more relationships for history, and understanding the context of famous art pieces makes them a lot more meaningful. Although I now find Warhol annoying. I understand his intent but him, personally... he seemed kind of pretentious in his videos when we studied him. Like the forefather of Hipsters. (For srs.) Also, art history also makes you more prone to getting into discussions about the meaning and value of art (see: trivia night two weeks ago, haha!).

(For the record the argument was whether or not modern art is worthless. My position is that modern art is much more meaningful than other art because it is completely expressive at it is freed from the necessitation of replicating life exactly--that is, the invention of the camera and video, etc. allows for much more "creation" in art. The opposition was saying that this is pointless because you aren't simply looking at something, the art is in the emotion or the context, which isn't the art itself. SO. LET IT NOT BE SAID MY ART HISTORY MINOR WAS EVER COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.)

So! What have I covered so far? Math, physics, engineering, history, art... Music? Music is my-life-outside-of-design. I could do it as a career if it were the right thing. I miss marching and I don't know what I'm going to do without anymore marching band... ever. Although I am taking tap next semester, so, currently, dance is my closest-approximation-replacement. And tap is percussive, so it's closer than, say, ballet, which I can't watch anymore BECAUSE THE DANCERS DON'T MOVE NECESSARILY WITH THE MUSIC /rant

Okay. Am I missing anything else? Oh! English (and languages). I love grammar, and spelling, although that is something my gradeschool also taught poorly that I picked up in high school better. One, because I was learning a new language as well, so there was a focus on grammar, and two, because we learned to diagram, which is also a focus on grammar, and it's basically all like one big puzzle. Now if only I could do better with strange verb conjugations! OH, SUBJUNCTIVE/PRETERITE/IMPERFECT/ETC TENSES. (I also miss learning languages.)

Uh... earth sciences? I guess that's what's left? Also fascinating. I love nature. I find psychology fascinating. Astronomy is SO COOL. It probably helps that my parents are doctors, so my sister and I got a lot of weird biology talk (and a lot of big words) and a pretty good grasp on some areas of science when we were young. BUT, my gradeschool had a completely awful science teacher for 6th/7th/8th grades (shared teacher), so that wasn't great either. Although our books were at least better, more diagrams, more straightforward, so I could at least self-educate to some degree. Now, another topic for another day, our lack of good science communication is evident in science fairs in gradeschool and highschool, because my version of "original experiments" were never quite on par with what they wanted. I still don't understand what they wanted. Because it wasn't a demonstration of a principle, but my ideas were more often too strange to be taken seriously, it seemed.

My science fair projects throughout the years: whether people could actually tell the difference between cola brands, whether kids carried too much in their backpacks, whether cat saliva prevented germ growth (e-coli or streptococcus? or both? can't remember], whether edible fauna (a.k.a. pansies) contains vitamin C, and whether fake or real wine corks do a better job of preventing germ spoiling of wine. I'm missing seventh grade's project... I don't recall at all, really. At any rate, these projects were all off the wall because everything else I had come up with would have "been done before" (meaning my teacher didn't really want me to do that specific project, although they never really gave much advice as to what exactly I could do to improve it) so my methods were always slightly bizarre, and my data was never quite clean enough, and other than the science geniuses who managed to do amazing things (these are the people who make it to international science fairs, I mean) A LOT OF PEOPLE BULLSHITTED THEIR DATA. And got better grades because of it, because their presentations were easier when they didn't have to answer difficult questions about their data's subtleties. So basically despite the fact that "the data you get doesn't have an effect on your final grade", meaning, let science do it's job and don't force a proof of your hypothesis, I generally got fucked over by being honest. Yes, I'm still bitter about this. WHY? Because ethics are important to me. Because human treachery starts early. Because I get punished for being honest. Because my generation clearly doesn't have a problem with cheating and lying to get themselves out of a challenge. FUCK IT ALL I'M SO GODDAMN BITTER ABOUT THIS SHIT.

Sorry to give this a turn for the sad for a moment, but I really don't tend to trust a lot of people my age, and this shit is why. (On the other side, I trust them more on the technical side than I trust myself because, unless I feel I can do something perfectly, I feel very unsure of myself and second-guess myself to no end.) Same kind of shit even happened on retreats! One of my many disillusionments with faith--all the people who act like their religiosity made them so much better than everyone else, when they couldn't even set aside their phones and cd players and everything else for our week of poverty. (To the point that there were prank calls and a string of tampons and pads let down from our room to the guys' quarters. Complete bullshit for a whole week.)

ANYWAY I LOVE LEARNING BUT DON'T TRUST PEOPLE MY AGE. They are not above buying their way out of things. =/

I kind of want to do an anonymous study of gradeschoolers and see how many bullshit their data now. Ugh.

(This is why I've started to think I don't really want kids--I look at adorable babies and toddlers and think, "some day you are going to be an asshole.")

I may or may not be a horrible person.

BUT I LOVE LEARNING :D

Oh, I guess, in terms of "favorite subject", specifically, I guess I could say marching. Because drum corps is my life, and I don't know what I'm going to do without being able to do it any more. (Teaching is definitely not the same and I don't necessarily have the desire to be a music teacher. Although I could do visual, but it's still not the same as competitive marching.)
mercat: (Default)
Wicked was amazing. I feel like it's been ages like I've actually listened to musical soundtracks.

My week is going to suck. I'm so busy it's ridiculous. So don't expect to see me around much...
mercat: (Default)
Okay, why on earth does this keep happening to me? When I sit long blocks to study I keep just having these gigantic flashes of... I dunno... life issues, or something. I mean, just thoughts on my own life. A totally different perspective on what's going on here. The weird part is that whatever I'm studying has nothing to do with the thoughts that show up. I think...? I dunno.

...Perspective doesn't look like a word.
mercat: (Default)
I now have a number one contender for Weirdest Question I've Ever Been Asked Legitimately. Also thinking I'm now out of the running for most successful Never-Have-I-Ever player.



No, I'm not telling you, because it was fucking weird, okay?
mercat: (hawaiiana jones)


This clip makes me lol soooo much. In addition I've determined that for particularly ghetto moments (they will probably be brought on by PoD) I am adding a "wiggidy wack" tag. Oh yes.

Strange thought: I use the terms "biznatch" and "biotch" a lot. Wtf? Especially the "biznatch" one because that is what springs to mind when someone says "natch" (which I really don't hear used that often, maybe it's a British thing?). But anyway, when people say "natch" they mean "naturally", as in, that's how it follows. But it always comes off to me as "that's right, bitch, bring it". So, yeah.

Taaaaangeeeents.


Back to the subject at hand: this sound clip as a ringtone would be frigging amazing.
mercat: (Default)
Sometimes, I get some really bizarre thoughts. You know, the kind that would turn your life into a really good fiction? Basically, plot bunnies, but they're usually just something based on my life, so they don't really work well with the "plot" part. More like "Diane is crazy" bunnies. Possibly they are Plot Jackalopes.

Long story short: A lot of personal realizations this week that I haven't got down on paper on LJ yet. (Because I'm lazy, lol.) But I was thinking about all the things that change, and this year, how weird it's been just this summer to 1) realize some of my best friends might be engaged, 2) realize some of my best friends probably will be engaged soon, and that I really need to get over some personal issues there that have nothing to do with them as a couple, and 3) that mom and dad want to move. A lot. Meaning, they are both pretty damn ready to get the hell out of Dodge. But anyway, I was thinking about those things, how your life changes, and how it affects your friends, and where am I going to end up living (what if I get a job with Disney? JPI? COST? None of those are in Ohio as far as I know) eventually, and where will Laura be, and Max, and Kyle? And my friends? And then I started thinking about grade school friends who I haven't seen in a really fucking long time. Like, I haven't seen Zack since graduation, I'm sure, becuse he didn't come to Jacob's funeral, I don't think. Which it then kind of hit me again, wow, someone my age, someone I grew up with, is dead. And, guilty as this may be, I don't remember much about him. I remember him making me laugh in first grade and I snorted chocolate milk out my nose and onto his shirt. (I didn't drink chocolate milk for a long time after that, but I always said I didn't like it. I think it comes in phases, because I liked it for a little while at Carroll but I'm not so big on it again.) And getting in trouble for laughing in like fourth AND fifth and probably all the other grades. Oh, and him spelling "sex" instead of "six" in second grade, and everyone laughed, and I honestly don't know how many of us knew what we were really laughing at. But other than him just being kind of a dumb goofball... I don't remember much. =/ He wasn't one of the guys that I hung out with, and even so, the stuff I remember from gradeschool is really random and generally... scholastic.

BUT ANYWAY, so that was all thoughts I had while mowing today, and then the bike ride comes around, and I do a lot of good thinking on bike rides. And this isn't a thought, really, it's a plot jackalope, which I like to encourage because they're pretty rare, but I just realized, what if he's really not dead? What if he's some super spy and it's all an FBI coverup? Cruel but cool.

Yeah, see? That's the way my brain works. I know I'm crazy.

also, I totally blame it all on the Hardy Boys novels, and I've been jiving to be read them all again.
mercat: (Default)
Blaaargh. I feel like every other day there is some new big news about the way we're killing the planet. And I don't mean "the way we're all going to die" like the LHC (which did get pushed back a month) or the Mayan end of the world or asteroids or anything like that, I am talking simply about the waste of our society. We have so many people living completely insanely wasteful lives whether they realize it or not. Today it was an article about how we, becuase of our love of gadgetry, are RUNNING OUT OF CERTAIN ELEMENTS.

Guys, that is NOT COOL

I don't care if you believe in global warming, I wish more people believed in sustainability, period! I don't think people understand the rate at which we're burning through things (forgive the pun). And that just serves to make me even sadder. Some days I am online and I read some great articles and comments from people online about ideas and projects and things, and then I remember, politically, how much different the internet crowd is compared to the "real world" community. =C

*sigh*


I was going to write a lot more for this entry but guuuuuhhhh my brain is breaking. Lovely.

just a link

Jul. 2nd, 2008 12:50 pm
mercat: (Default)
Just posting this for info. The comm [livejournal.com profile] livelongnmarry is an auction running until the 15th full of mostly fannish but ALL sorts of people's auctions, with ALL the proceeds going to support the gay marriage sitch in CA and that front in general.

I have ambigrams up for auction here, so if you'd ever wanted one, I mean, I'd make one anyway, but yay charity! Right? So yeah, just passing on the word. =)
mercat: (Default)
Here's a life tip: don't try to mark the end of tape by sticking it to your lip. Pulling it off also removes a layer of VERY SENSITIVE SKIN.


Also, the new Mountain Dew Supernova is pretty good. (It's strawberry melon.) I want to try the raspberry one, and then I will vote. I would REALLY REALLY love it if they decided to bottle Baja Blast though.

thoughts

Jun. 10th, 2008 09:52 am
mercat: (Default)
Extremely long, but
1) that's kind of the point, and
2) it's extremely interesting.

a very interesting article about the human brain )

Discussion: First of all, I think because I'm so stupidly paranoid sometimes, I love dystopian stories. I would really like to write one one day. I had an idea, it's sitting in a folder on my computer, but the problem is that it's more for the technology involved on a cool level, rather than the dystopian issues. Basically like distilling Star Wars down to lightsabers. Cool, but you don't get any story. Someday hopefully I'll have a good idea though.

Now, to the actual article. (I have two post-its full of notes I made about the article, but I'm sure I am missing a few because I wrote them as I skimmed it a second time.) I've noticed this myself, and in fact I think I may have even blogged about it before. Probably talking about internet addiction and stuff. I know that I am a whore for information. Seriously, trivia, knowledge, you name it. I've pretty much always wanted to be in school, just at my own pace. I think, for the rest of my life, I will always be taking some sort of class. I enjoy learning new techniques and gaining new skills and having information stored away at the back of my brain. The problem is, you forget it over time... But that's not my point, I'm getting a bit tangential. The point is, I've noticed I find it harder to read books. Unless it's extremely compelling, I will stop and think a few pages/chapters in, but my eyes keep moving, which is annoying because then you have to go and read a whole page over again. I've always had that quality, that I will think, almost anywhere. My best friend in gradeschool used to tease me about it all the time, because sometimes I would stop talking to her in a car ride or something and just be staring out the window, thinking. I used to get people asking me if I was okay, yeah, I'm fine, I'm just staring out the window looking at things and thinking about them... But I have noticed that after a little bit I lose interest in the book, it just becomes words on the page. More than just stopping and thinking (or getting easily distracted, like many books you have to read for school, oh, let's say, Wuthering Heights [BLECH]), but completely losing interest. Almost as if your eyes lose focus because you've been reading too long, but it's coming from your brain instead. The words on the page just become mush. It's so frustrating.

Sometime last year, I can't remember if it was before drum corps or after fall semester, I told myself that this year would be a big change for me. I was going to Hawaii to get in some relaxation, some adventure, figure out what in my life is not going right. There are a lot of small things, I suppose, but I think the main thing I noticed is that I've lost my self-limitation. I used to be able to just come home, do what I had to do, and then I could do what I wanted. Part of it was that gradeschool was too easy in some ways, and not interesting in many others, and when I got to high school I cared less about classes because I cared more about friends. Same with college, and especially because I told myself I'm doing engineering because I can, not because it's my main interest. I just want to have the skillset. Which only leads to more procrastination. But the issue here is that I needed to sit myself down and say, no, you have to start caring about stupid things again, they aren't going to work themselves out. I need to manage my time online. I need to exercise more. I need to make an effort getting out to meet people. I need to be ME and not lose myself in inane things. I don't even know where I lost myself, but somewhere toward the end of high school and the beginning of college, I did. I focused too much on what other people wanted me to be, so much the adult because I know, and they know, that I can handle the responsibility-- but I can't forget that I am so much a child's imagination. I daydream, I sketch, I have too many ideas and aspirations. I'm too hopeful in humanity, probably. But I've always felt that way, and I think I tried to crush it. It seems like all throughout gradeschool I was one of the most mature kids in my class, though I always felt frustrated by the fact that I had no real knowledge/understanding/interest in current events, other than scientific. In that sense I think I definitely matured, though it pretty much took me all throughout high school. But I can definitely at least better understand some politics and things, or at least I have more of an interest in them. Something about them is still not there for me to grasp. Anyway, the point is that I have a need to create and a need to let my imagination go and a need to be a dork. I can't sacrifice that for anything. Maybe I'm not going to play with all my toys but it doesn't make it any less fun having them. Laura was looking at me ridiculously for buying so many of the Indiana Jones 3 3/4" figures, but as soon as I pulled them out of the box to show her she started messing with the accessories and the boxes and we actually spent a little while setting them up and trying to keep Spalko's pistol from getting eaten by Jack.

And now I am extremely far off topic. Back to my post-its.

Artificial intelligence scares the SHIT out of me. Not in the sense that computers will take over and we'll become a biology to be exploited or killed, but rather in the sense that humans will become nothing more than advanced technology, modifying ourselves until we lose every element of humanity... and yeah, I know that deep down poetically it's emotion, but it scares me that people want to genetically CHOOSE what their kids will be, not just male or female but eye color and hair color and intelligence and skills and strength, and that those are things that would eventually become outdated as they are upgraded, and soon you have outdated children. Who could treat a person like that? Another human being? This is ignorance. (This is Sparta! Oh wait. No, it's just ignorance. Maybe politics. But it's madness, too.)

And maybe genetic modification everyone decides is unethical. (Though there would probably still be someone out there experimenting... the law isn't perfect) So what if people can put chips into their brain to remember things? Yeah, I remember reading a kids magazine wishing you could just do that so you wouldn't have to go to school. Convenient, but what if your computer broke, or was programmed badly? Or you crashed in a forest and a moose trampled on you and broke the circuit? Then where would you be? And it also leads to the ego that you think you know something, but really, you don't. This is another thing I've had to find out about myself recently. Gradeschool was too easy and not interesting, and it's easy to delude yourself about teachers and books and things if you're obsessive about good grades, but starting senior year and going 'til now I've been able to admit to myself a few things. Grades aren't as important as they seem, because you should get out and live. That being said, they're very convenient for scholarships and things, and I will probably be kicked out of the honors program. Which upset me, but after a while being bitter I realized there really aren't any benefits anyway, other than being able to check out 100 books from the library at a time. (If I'm still in, I'm going to do it. If not, I'm stealing Candice's card to do it.) Oh, and I won't graduate Summa Cum Laude (I think?), but... does that really matter? Besides grades, I had to learn that I'm not as much of a genius as I wished I was. There are things I don't understand, and probably my mewest revelation is that you can't just learn them for a semester, for a test. You're not really learning anything, and I'm starting to feel those effects. You have discussions with your friends and realize that even though you studied and at one point knew what they are talking about, you can't recall as much of it as you'd like. (Then again, maybe I'm too obsessive and I just want to remember it all. Who knows.)

Can't remember if I already mentioned this a few paragraphs up, but I'm just going down the post-its now. Staying in school... I think I will be always taking classes, about something. Literature, history, art, you name it. And because classes in school are so focused, I'm always reading. Used to be magazines and books, now mostly internet. I have acess to learning so many things I may never need to know directly, but what if them one day applies to a creative engineering solution or a writing idea or an art idea? That's how my brain works, I have millions of stupid little things floating around, and somehow they will crash into eachother and I'll have an idea. In order to be creative I know I have to feed my brain, but I've also learned if I'm feeding it I need to be creative.

Something else I think I've touched on before, and I think about at least once a week if not once a day; age and technology. I wonder how a generation that's grown up understanding computers will adjust to technology as they get older, as older generations fall behind (and older technology falls behind, and the things that go with it: media, politics... sadly). I wonder how technology's going to change...

Now, malleability of the brain, that's interesting. It's both good and bad. Bad in that my brain is becoming more rapid-fire and I lose focus reading books. Not good at all. Good in that it means you can teach an old dog new tricks... Definitely one of my fears. That I will stop learning, that I will get stupid with age (yeah, not just fear of dying here AUGH), that I will lose ability to do things as I get old. Not that I feel old now, though I think people expect me to say that because OHMYGODI'MTWENTY (well, not yet, technically). Like I've said before, I'm too much a child's mind and I don't want to not learn things, not be able to go on adventures. (At least, it's self-encouragement to get in shape. So when I in my eighties I can still run.)

Internet is not the only thing that messes with my brain. I cannot listen to music when I study, or really when I do anything that is not expressly listening to music. Maybe it's because I was so much raised on music that it's like my sixth sense, tempo and tuning and listening and feeling it. For a while I just tried studying to music without words, because I figured it was that language is so important to us that it would be what distracts us, but it's not true for me, it's definitely any sort of music. That being said, I just had the remembrance that a common "science fair" in grade school was to see who took a test better, those who listened to music while studying, and those who didn't, and that those who listened to (I think classical) did better. I am not sure that would work for me, though I think the science behind it is that the music stimulates more of your brain to get it active and remembering. Only problem for me is that I guess it is too active. Maybe it's just that my brain is turning into an internet-brain and I lose focus on studying, but really music should help... who knows.

I've also noticed my mental to-do list skills breaking down. Now whether that was that I have so much more to keep track of now, not just do your homework do your chores work on a craft project and go to bed, but do your homework go to work remember what to wear and then go to the bank and then go to walmart (with a whole separate mental list) and then go home to meet laura and pack (yet another list) and then clean the house so people can come over at x time and then go on vacation... remains to be seen. Or maybe that I now purposefully carry around a notebook and pen at all times, and write down project ideas and things I need to do, and I rely more on that... But I almost always forget to go back and check it. Right now my desk is COVERED in post-it notes and the notepad function on my phone is full. For a while I tried a method of keeping "A, B, C, D" level lists on my desktop in Word, but that was forgotten quickly because it requires upkeep. So... I don't know.

Another topic dealing with age and technology: how people watch movies. When you are younger, everything is entertaining, and when you are older you start watching stuff made more for the story and the thoughtfulness and the emotion and stuff. And if you're trained in certain technical areas, I'm noting more nowadays that you watch the costumes or the acting or the way the camera pans or the editing or the CGI. I'm not convinced it's because a lot of my friends have interest or training in that, though I'm sure that's part of it. I think part of the issue is that it's popular (popular? I don't know) to be a cynic, to think you're an expert, to watch it not for entertainment but on a meta-level to guess it's predictability and it's qualities that I think ten years ago only a professional (or indie) movie maker would have cared about. Maybe it's part youtube, maybe it's the addition of behind-the-scenes special features on almost all DVDs (and I swear to god if they don't start putting more special features on the Indy dvds I will kill someone), who knows. Maybe it's all of that.

You know what word never ceases to distract me from the quality of the writing? "Gewgaws." PLEASE STOP USING THIS WORD, PEOPLE, I am begging you

Part of me has always wanted simplicity. Not quite being a hermit but living in a small house being able to take care of all my stuff and growing my own food (or catching/killing my own food, whatever) and being able to manage everything myself. Part of it is that machines are becoming too complicated, it requires a LOT of skill to be able to fix cars now. Part of it is my concern for the environment, that owning little and having a small footprint is best. Part of it is that man is turning into machine... a corporate machine, maybe, but a machine nonetheless. Buy the clothes buy the ipod buy the phone buy the car buy the gas buy the fancy restaurants buy the (COMPLETELY BULLSHIT MARKET) diamonds. I think, in a small-market system, captialism is good. Maybe I'm just too much of a gloom-and-doom worry wart, but I'm really afraid for where we, as a society, are headed. Environment, politics, corporations... Ugh. Maybe just another reason to want to get away from it all...

Plus, I've always thought survivalist skills are cool. (AND ENVIRONMENTAL HOUSE DESIGN! Awesome) I'd love to see anyone from Hollywood survive in a forest for a week. I know my plants recognition skills aren't all that great, but I don't think I'd do too badly. Shelter, water, I am there. Fire in theory. Trapping animals a bit more of a challenge.

(WOO, one post-it down!)

Back to my dystopia thing for a second-- you know what would be interesting? A current-day dystopia novel. Something that would happen tomorrow. I think partially because technology moves at an exponential rate, that it would both have to be as well as make it more interesting. (Only thing is that it would go out of date probably very quickly...) Hmm. I'll have to think on this some more.

Another concern of having a mind that moves too quickly: ADD diagnoses. They're already way too high, and way overmedicated, but being raised on the internet might only make that worse.

Maybe I am just a bit old-fashioned, wanting to avoid having a brain that moves too quickly, but in the same manner I hate having downloaded-only music and movies. I'd rather own the dvd and the cds. I think it's still too easy for files to corrupt, for computers to crash or get broken, and there are all the stupid limits like iTunes "you can only download this file to five computers!" I know it's so they make more money, but, UGH, I'm not going to get into a political rant about how I think this (almost)depression is good for most Americans... Also, I almost always have music playing in my head. You think I'm kidding... I'm not. The only time I don't consciously hear it is if I'm thinking particularly hard about something interesting.

Also, scary that we are losing our ability to focus long-term... I already think it's scary we used to have much more impressive memory skills, but lost that with the invention of the printing press. Maybe it's just that I am too insecure and always afraid I will need to remember something I have forgotten, or that I hate egotism so much and there are so many people who think they're really smart but really know nothing. I don't know. Also, I think losing the ability to focus on something for a long time will just accentuate the aspect of immaturity that you don't think outside of your immediate actions, the whole monkeysphere theory. Truly fascinating stuff.

(My next thought was, this sounds like something I read the other day that sounded like it could have come from Douglas Adams [I don't remember what it was, but it involved discussion of "it's a small world" and that it's all an act that there are only 500 people besides you {which isn't true, I have over 500 people friended on facebook, all but a handful I actually know in person}, but in reality it's just that there are many smaller circles of about 500 people... maybe it was Neil Gaiman?]. And then, it's interesting how British humor always has an interesting take on something, like they sat back to get a bit more perspective than you, and I love that. But then that also relates to this discussion, what if it's just their being a bit more old-fashioned? Almost like the metaphorical US as a pre-teen and Britain being in it's late 20's saying there-there, I told you so, in a mocking but not annoying manner. Which makes me wonder, what if the British have got it right all this time...) (I dunno, I do kind of think I could easily live there. Reading Adams, he's said that Brits are much more sensible and that atheism and agnosticism is not looked down upon as badly as it is in the US. BY THE WAY, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. I can't see the video, but from the quotes that sounds ATROCIOUS. Just makes me more frustrated for that whole campaign by scientists to get more discussion of technology and global warming and important topics into legislature... ARGH)

Um, and back to the Epic Memory thing real fast (termed because I remember that people used to memorize the Odyssey and the Iliad), most memorization today is just rote. You do it until it becomes an instinct, not necessarily putting the thinking behind it, and I think that was an issue for me for learning some things. Or rather, testing on them. You can't teach a method of study of rote memorization and then expect it to be APPLIED. Argh.

Oh, and I think I may have actually lost a lot of my skill telling jokes. Laura and I used to be able to go on forever, back and forth from one joke to the next. I think part of that is that as you get older you find other things to entertain yourself with, and that I've stopped reading jokes as much, and I know I haven't listened to the Dr. Laura Thanksgiving Day joke show in a while, and I don't even know if she doesn't anymore. (Still annoyed that the one year we got through, LAURA STOLE MY JOKE ...yeah, I can hold grudges like nobody's business)

Interesting that the author of the article talks about pancake people. I think that's definitely true, and kind of goes back to my idea that perhaps capitalism on a more personal level is better. Mom and Pop stores and people actually learning trades if they have no interest in school, and a car I can fix myself... But that's back to politics again, I'd rather not go there. Only thing is, I don't know if I'm a product of society in that way, or if it's just my personality, but I've always been sort of a take-interest-in-everything want-to-be-a-renaissance-man sort. I tend to think it's me and not society, as this is still relatively new in regards to the internet raising people, and I am a bit extreme and all-over-the-board in my interests.

Now, back to something off topic but relating to my dystopia interest. I have almost always read books for entertainment rather than education (though a lot of educational stuff was entertaining to me...), and my dad and I have always thought that you should be able to look at a book as entertainment and not have to analyze it for themes and symbolism and metaphors. But I also wonder, it can be very interesting to have that secondary level, if you study it. I've always wanted to write a book and just say "there's no lesson here, it's just supposed to be fun", but I don't know if I could anymore. I mean, I think I could, but it wouldn't be as interesting as something with more significance. (But when I try to write significance with metaphors, I go a bit crazy, and that's another issue.) Are there are stories just pure entertainment with no lesson, though? Star Wars? I mean, I love the hell out of Indiana Jones, but I'm pretty sure the basis is to be responsible for what is right, there, and have a sense of mystery and awe. Terminator? I mean is there some Kubrickesque dystopian message there? I have no idea (I've only seen it once).

Ideally, my writing style is like Hitchhiker's Guide or Neil Gaiman or Diana Wynne Jones, all of which I consider to be entertainment primarily. (However, American Gods has a deeper meaning for me, which is slightly off topic.) Are there any messages in Hitchhiker's Guide? I don't really think so, other than, stop taking it all so seriously because it doesn't really matter (which, while sometimes good, also worries me). My only problem is that it takes quite a lot of work to get me in that mood, and it's difficult to keep. Like I said, I think I'm too much of a renaissance man. I would write a book in that style and never be able to write another one like that again, but I would easily move on to another idea another genre another style. I could act if I had the chance, I would sing if I had the chance, I would be an architect or an Imagineer. Who knows, really...

(Incidentally, 2001 was a movie I felt they could have cut the beginning and the end off of and had a decent movie. I guess I'll have to watch it again with the right metaperspective. Damn me for expecting entertainment...?)

[EDIT] Also, I wonder if my newfound semi-carsickness (I can no longer read in the car... extremely disheartening for me) relates at all to this. Truly.
mercat: (Default)
Ah, banking. I think one day I will need to hire someone to do my money for me because I am too laid back about it. I keep rough estimates in my head and that's about it. (You should see my checkbook, it's a shame. Good thing I pretty much never use it.)

Sometimes I am too much of an engineer. Now, I know I say that a lot, and what I mean when I say "too much of an engineer" is not that I love engineering (I'm finding the math to be more and more of a chore, and I'm pretty sure any purely-desk job is going to be the death of me) but that my mind is inherently practical. I know it's too simplistic but for the sake of polar opposites (the extremes of a spectrum) there's the engineer and the artist. The artist goes around freely while the engineer is anal-retentive about everything. My issue is that I have the practical, logical side of the engineer inside the artist, but I know that I have the skills and the intelligence to handle the engineering side. (I'm just learning I don't really enjoy it so much.)

The whole main stupid point of this is that coming home from being AWAY away for school, I've noticed some social abnormalities that drive my mom insane but work for me. And I have the distinct feeling living with someone who was not a careless college student would be somewhat awkward or a social challenge. For example, I don't really clean. I mean, I keep things clean enough to work, but I don't organize my stuff because what gets used most is where I need it and I organize things by memory. Where was that little craft part I needed? Oh yeah, I last saw it organizing my closet so it's on the craft shelving in my closet on the supplies shelf in the bits box. However this drives my mom insane.

Anyway, that's just an example. This thing will be the death of me because I won't want to keep track of finances, or make elaborate meals (elaborate meaning, like... normal), or keep things as well maintenanced as they should be.

(Except for some reason I file things on my computer to an inane degree. If they invented tag systems for storage rather than folders, I will die happy.)

DAMN YOU LAZINESS WHEN DID YOU KICK IN (Seriously when I was in gradeschool I used to be super-driven, I don't know what happened.)
mercat: (Default)
Lately I've been seriously considering finally getting a webpage put up. A few reasons; it'd be nice to have one place to host all my photos, finally get that webcomic up and going, also a page dedicated to Adventure (COSI) because I seem to be the only fan of it on the planet. (At least I'm sure some Indy geeks would give it some attention.) I dunno, maybe post my art, too? Not that there's much of it. OH, and finally get the Steampunk Collective/Cooperative (needs a better name though) up and running.

I just keep coming back to a few things.
1) I plan to be completely out of contact the next two summers with drum corps, which would potentially be a problem for both a comic and the steampunk site.
2) I would pretty much have to make the webpage dirtybuchwalder, but then that's giving out my real name. I don't mind giving out my real name in the capacity I do now, because I slowly stumble on people and it's more like building friendships than buying a huge billboard. Maybe I could just buy the domain and redirect? But that's money I don't know if I want to spend (yeah, I'm cheap) AND I have to come up with another site name.

Decisions, decisions. =/ Suggestions/discussion is welcome...
mercat: (Default)
and some days, life is good.
mercat: (Default)
I've come across a few interesting articles lately, thought I might pass them on.

I actually have no idea what this is, but it seems pretty interesting on the first read. (And to be fair I mostly just scanned it, my thoughts were a bit too scattered at the time to really try to understand it.)

Dude versus Dad, or, too much insight into why I take a lot of things too seriously.

Post-Americanism. I don't know about you but I am all for a slice of Humble Pie. You should never get too cocky about yourself, it leads to big disasters. Also? The sense I get from that article is "America no longer holds the records for biggest stuff!" Uh, hello current events, but the world can't go on forever with a My Cock's Bigger contest. We're starting to see the effects of overpopulation and limited resources as it is. I think it's a good thing that we're not at the top anymore and I'm hoping we can use, to put it stereotypically, good old American ingenuity to put us in a new direction for a BETTER planet and not just a BIGGER one.


Oh, and another thing about Iron Man: I guess it's doing pretty damn well this weekend. GOOD FOR IT. I think we need more movies like it, in the "plot is not boringly overdone" genre. Also, I forgot to say when reading the credits, yay Lucasfilm for ILM and Skywalker Sound. I kept thinking those props guys must have been having a field day. SPOILER )

also the fact that it's been nearly a decade since 1999 and SEVEN YEARS almost since 9/11 is continuing to blow my mind.

Also I think I posted about this before, but I have a strong desire to build something similar for severely less than $3000. My only problem is my lack of experience in programming and robotics, but honestly, remote control + iPod dock + projector + media system doesn't sound too terribly challenging, unless you're insistent upon a universal remote.
mercat: (Default)
I hate this I hate this I hate this.

I am just now starting to feel like this is home for me. I mean, I adjusted well enough but it's starting to be comfortable. And I have, uh, thirty (or 29?!) days left. =( I am very, very ervy excited for Indiana Jones, and because of that, excited to go home. And TOSRV, I wouldn't miss it for the world. But I'm already missing here, so badly. Starting to think about packing up, and shipping things home, and getting "souvenirs" and things. It's not like I'll never come back, I think I love it here too much. I don't know how my mom could stay away for so long. (She came when she was little, when she and my dad were first married, and then two years ago and now.) I'm making friends here and making plans here and I don't know. I really don't. There's so much I want to stay out here and learn and live. I didn't get to take Hawaiian language, or religion or anything. I'm doing a meetup with the only other Xkcdian out here interested, but that's gonna be like next week or something.

I guess UH Manoa has architecture, and civil engineering, so maybe, maybe, I will be out here for grad school. (Haha, I just typed gradeschool and had to fix it.) But then what about all the other things I've looked at? My problem is I see so many options and so many alternate routes my life can take that I really wonder where I'll end up. Co-op with Cost of Wisconsin, and go to UW? That is another possibility. Co-op with Disneyworld, go to grad school somewhere, and end up doing Imagineering? Co-op with JPI out in Cali and end up doing something out there? And now this. Maybe it's just because Chami has interior design, but I think if I ended up out here my focus would be more on architecture. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, that was my original plan, inspired by Wright and Gaudi and so on. I mean I really can't see myself not doing architecture, but at the same time I can't see myself not doing an Imagineering-type job. I need some combination of the two, like start my own more privatized JPI. I mean I've always thought, you know, I'll be a popular architect and get to travel all over to build interesting structures, but, I dunno. I really, really don't. I've been told there's a HIGH demand for people who crossover civil and architecture, because so few do it. But I dunno, where is it all going to lead?

Ohio has always been home for me, I never considered living somewhere else. I don't think I could live here for longer than a few years, because it's so far away from everything. But I don't think I can stay away, either. I don't know, I just don't know.

What I do know is that my problem is that I want to do it all, but other than that... I don't know.

hematics

Apr. 10th, 2008 06:00 pm
mercat: (Default)
So I did end up giving blood today. Not really any problems. Getting your finger stuck for iron testing does hurt for a good few minutes, but not worse than any other cut. Plus it's cool to see them doing the iron test. One weird thing, they ask you if your blood can be used for patients, and they leave the room and you pick a "yes" or "no" barcode and stick it on your form. Anyone know as to why? I mean, they tell you that you can't be giving blood just to be tested for diseases, and I cannot think of another possibility whatsoever for a pint of blood. (Unless there's a secret hive of vampires somewhere feeding on blood rejects. They're already not-quite-dead-but-not-alive so I think AIDS and hep C is not a problem for them, as blood type probably is not. Can you imagine that, vampires subject to blood type? Like, an allergic reaction. That would be bad, I think.) ANYWAY. The needle going in wasn't really the bit that hurt, it's just that it takes a few minutes for the anticoagulant to settle, and it burns a little. My arm got warm after the burning went away and for a minute I was afraid that I was leaking blood into my muscle or something, so I mentioned it to the guy and he said "warm?" in a kind of weird look, but then I thought, oh, it's probably just the anticoagulant again, and it went away after that so I'm not too concerned. The weirdest part for me was them filling up all the sample tubes, because on the first tube of each set (seriously, two small red-capped ones and three big purple-capped ones. What are they doing with all these samples?!) you felt a little suction because there was all that space. I tend to be very sensitive to physics, so I don't know if most people notice it, but I felt it. I'm such an engineer sometimes. I sat there and worried that I was going to pump blood into my muscles and wondered what happens to your veins as you donate blood--do they just sort of deflate with lower pressure? Because I know getting air in your bloodstream is a BAD, BAD thing, and you're not getting pumped back up with anything. And when they fill the vials, where does the air go? Um, and something else, later, but I can't remember what it was, just that I am very much an engineer when I analyze things. I was afraid I would maybe faint or get dizzy so I made sure to eat two breakfasts and a big lunch and drink lots of fluids, but I didn't have any problems. I do feel kind of tired and listless now, and the arm that had blood drawn from it feels rather muscularly tired. So I'm wondering if it's just that there's lack of blood there or if the bandage was a little too tight and lessened the amount of blood going through there, but I could definitely fall asleep right now with no problem. I'm exhausted.

The package from my parents finally came, so I filled up on blondies. =) They're a little staleish already, but they're still so delicious. Plus since you're supposed to eat hardily after giving blood, I have no regrets. =)

I had to think though, I haven't been to the doctor in a while, but all the same I've never got a comment on my blood pressure. I mean, I didn't today, either, but I suddenly wondered what the numbers meant. I don't really get it but I texted the numbers to my mom hoping she'd explain the formula to me. Rather, she told me that was kind of high and that it was probably nerves but when I come home she'd test it again. Oh, and, just thought of this, I haven't been to the doctor in a while but I get shots often enough that I would probably still know if I had issues. But, uh, I was trying to keep myself pretty calm, and so I wasn't really nervous. Once they put the needle in later I started shaking because my hand was a little cold and I was nervous something would happen (I dunno, needle would get knocked, something), but it wasn't a bad shaking, more like a shivering shake, so, I dunno. But I looked up the BP values, and while my diastolic pressure is normal, my systolic blood pressure is "stage 1". Which, I dunno what that means, but looking at the chart there's normal, prehypertension, hypertension, stage 1, and stage 2. So that doesn't bode well, and considering I'm overthinking and analyzing things all the time, getting nervous over inane shit, I wonder what it all means.

At the same time, filling out the forms I was grateful that my health has been simple so far. No allergies, no diseases, no med problems, just broke my arms in 1996, you know? Anyway. Oh, the thing they took your temp with was pretty cool. It was this TINY stick with small metal dots under the plastic, and I really wanted to know how it worked. Hm, now that I think about it, my temp was 98.8 so maybe I was nervous. Anyhow. I got a blue bandage, it was pretty cool until it started feeling weird in regards to the circulation and strength in my arm.

I finished the Gaiman book, it was good. Gaiman, Adams, and Jones, being my favorite authors, make me wonder if there's something about being raised with a British sense of humor that makes you look at the world differently. I mean the Brits are, maybe stereotypically, but nonetheless truthfully, practical in the way they see things (whereas comparatively you may say Americans are stereotypically but nonetheless very prideful about things). Just the way they all address their topics, it's the same old world we all know but there's something we didn't see behind it. Not that it's some spectacular new thing that got discovered, no, it's old, it's been there ages, we just happened upon it now or just started caring. And I can't for the life of me think of an American author who has written like that, at least in the experience of the books I've read. The Giver? That's the first alternate-world book I can think of, and no, that's not it. And I think of all the fictions I can, and all of them are their own spectacular alternate universes, not this world, this real world, at all. Maybe Alice in Wonderland, but everyone says that guy was on drugs, and that makes me sad. And Narnia, maybe, but the fact that it's a Christian allegory really does kill a lot of it, though I suppose it helps to no longer believe all the things you're taught are true. Or, relatively true and now symbolically true, nonetheless, faith tenets or whathaveyou.

Ah! Well, Carroll was English and Lewis was Irish, so maybe that explains that. I don't know. I just wish I could lock myself away and read Gaiman and Jones and Adams all the time so I could still feel like I had stories to write. I dunno, I've always liked writing, but what I've determined is that I'm a modeler, of sorts. I'm obsessed with things. If I were a pirate I'd hunt treasure all the time, and it's pretty clear that my obsession with Indiana Jones isn't as much the character himself as what he's seen, what he's found. COSI? Adventure. And if I ever have good plot ideas, they're things. Objects that can help set the stage. I'm a stage-setter. I'm a designer. But I don't write the plays, I can't. I can't ad-lib for shit and I struggle to pay attention to my part in the dialogue anyhow. Ask me a question out of the blue, and it takes me a second to register you might be addressing me, unless you're looking at me or something. And the answers I give are never the answers I mean to give, usually. Which is why I can't stand being teased, I suppose, I don't know how to react and the puns and jokes and prods always come about ten minutes too late. Unless we start talking about how things work, and then I can expound for ages, reveling in the minutiae. But look what happened with my eighth grade play, um, let's not go there. Suffice it to say it's the reason, even though I live for singing, that I didn't put myself in the musical until senior year. And even then (and now) I'm still pissed as hell when people don't memorize their lines, don't standardize their actions so they can perfect the details. Maybe that's why I'm in my element with marching band. It's all memorized. Everything. Your voice, your movements, your focus, and when it comes down to it, my only real challenge is strength and the details I need to perfect it. Volume. Tone. Fuck, I don't even focus on tone anymore, it's instinctual.

But I (completely) digress. I can't write a plot for beans. Give me someone else's story, let me see their characters in the dimmest light, and I can fix plotholes and give them a better MacGuffin and rewrite their dialogue to be more in line with their emotion. But I can't see the characters. I could look in a mirror and see another world but I couldn't tell you the ghosts, only maybe that there were some and they had shards of dreams that kept them there, trapped. I dunno.

Hah, so, really, co-authoring's my shtick. You have characters and a good feel for the plot? Great, I'll solidify it, make it real. Maybe I'm missing something. Who knows.

I write a lot better in my head, too. When I'm driving or walking or whathaveyou. But I can't talk out loud to record it and when I sit down to write the things that need to be said have already been said and I can't say them as eloquently a second time, only grasp at straws and hope I can find the train of thought, if it's still there even.

Oh, I forgot to say, when I gave blood, I had a headache a little later, too. Hopefully I stop feeling so tired, though.

Intersting article I had to read from 2000; mild developmental autism may be linked to mercury poinsoning... found in medicine. So kids were getting mercury poisoning from their medicine, good going there on someone's part.

Hm.

41 days! I'm back to being excited again, which is good news, for sure. Also found out there may be a mini-meetup in Ohio for people from my favorite Indy website, and it's in Fairborn. Woohoo! I offered to help out, since I was planning one already for Dayton-and-close-Ohio folks. That way I could meet some COW folks and not feel as guilty for probably not going to New York in June (wait, isn't there a song about that? help me, what am I thinking of). I was kind of stressing because I mean it would be the ultimate thing to go to the midnight premiere with local COW friends, but at the same time I would feel bad not taking my usual movie-going crowd with me. This is still, slightly, an issue, however, there's a chance it could be solved. One of the COW folks said he is friends with a manager (?) at a local theatre and was wondering if they could get a limited early-showing for the COW crowd. Now THAT would be fucking awesome because then I wouldn't feel it as necessary to show up at least (at least) an hour early to get top-notch seats and also I could take the usual crowd to the midnight premiere and not worry about them spoiling it with their freaking commentary.

Um, I mean, really, I love you guys (to all of you who may or may not be reading this, I'm not going to specify which), BUT, yes, I have several friends who give a bit too much commentary for something like this. I mean usually we end up seeing mediocre movies or movies I don't really care about, so a commentary is an improvement and not a huge deal. But really, this is a very important thing for me, as stupid as it may sound. The reason I love it is the completely mysterious adventure, and now I live for it. And this is really a once-in-a-lifetime thing, to see a new one, now, and I'll be damned if anyone's going to ruin it for me with commentary and snark, as harmless as it may seem. And really, it is harmless, and I mean no offense, but no matter, this is important for me, which is why I was (and am) leaning toward seeing my first viewing with people as equally obsessed. So for all those who were planning on going with me, I hope you can understand. Although I doubt you care, this movie isn't so important to you. E];D

BUT! Further than this discussion I bring more linkage. Shit is popping up everywhere and I haven't seen ANY of it! Cereal, pop-tarts, ice creams, candies... WHERE ARE YOUUUU, PACKAGING?! I think a trip to Wal-Mart may be in order. (That cereal? Looks terrible. But damned if you're going to stop me from getting it. I was going to refrain from buying ALL the stuff, because some of it is just "get the Raiders DVD with X proofs-of-purchase!" [proof-of-purchases?], and some of it wasn't anything other than a decorated box. But with poptarts you can get a canteen now and there is a... cereal bar? overseas that you can get a cool spoon with, and I am totally jealous.)

Oh god, after this year I am going to hate myself. I have always always always been a saver when it comes to money, and I used to only go overboard with books. (I still do.) I care a little more about fashion these days but nonetheless I am a cheapskate. ("Fashion" money goes more towards costumes, now, but it's still more than I used to buy.) But all this Indiana Jones stuff! It's a good thing I'm only in the market for the quality stuff (uh, all the books, though), probably the legos and maybe some action figures and maybe some cards (really all I want are the art cards, stills from the movies hold none of my interest). But, um, the Potato Head I don't care for (WAIT. Actually, I hate it, I just want the little hat so I can pose it on the cats and stuff.) and the MightyMuggs or whatever they're called look absolutely ridiculous, and I think a rather large proportion of the marketing is childish, which makes me upset. No idol models or anything? Seriously. Who wouldn't want one of those?! I guess I'll hold out for years down the line when I buy a SA nearly-perfect one (ah, which will run me around $500). But nonetheless. So far the money went into costuming (the hat, and a ring, which incidentally I'm not big on the costume so much as the character of each item), and if there's aliens in the movie I can't see myself buying much more toys-wise than the classics. I'm determined to get my hands on one of those action figures though, just so I can have the little gold idol so I can put a hole through it and wear it as a necklace.

Ah, right, I told you I had links.

Gravity-defying homes, some of which make me think the authors have never heard of cantilevering. Or seen a cylinder before in their lives. (Seriously, like, come on.) The first one is just bad design, from all the other articles on it I've read; it's all wood, a lot of it is unstable and rotting, so, it's weak engineering at best. Notably, House on the Rock's Infinity Room is not on the list, making me doubly sure that the authors don't really seem to understand their own name of "gravity-defying". Cantilevering is always amazing, to me, even if I know how it works. It's just that cool. Cylindrical buildings, or buildings with stilts? Hardly.

OH FUCK YES a Homestar Runner game! Sadly for Wii. I don't really like the Wii. I'm willing to give it a few more shots, I mean I've only done bowling, and yeah it's good for exercise but besides DDR and GH I'm a classic-controller kid. However, it will also be out for PC, I think, so there's always that damn-my-computer-is-too-slow route. (Speaking of which the, uh, Half-Life or Unreal-Tournament or whatever that networked game we used to play at Joe and Jen's was, I love it and I miss it. ALSO, I still need to get my hands on Ghost Recon, especially since we have a PS2 at home now. I loved that game.)

Interesting: Indiana Jones and the recession" (Do people know how to write titles anymore? Seriously? GRAMMAR) Interesting. Is it sad that I'm hoping the economy will get weak enough to cause people to start caring more about consumption of resources like food and gas and stuff? =( Our society is too wasteful.

Quite possibly the coolest cake I've ever seen. No, actually, I'm totally lying, I've seen things a million times better. But if you can imagine the skills of a real cake artist crossed with Indiana Jones, well, then, I'd probably put it in a museum instead of eating it. And for a shitty store-cake, that one's damn good (minus the boulder inaccuracy, but let's not even go there, I don't think you want to hear it). Almost as cool as my mom's homemade Little Mermaid cake and probably as cool as the Winnie the Pooh cake, from which I still have the Piglet and Pooh figures (which may have been the only ones). Or Laura has Piglet (I know she was the only one ever to have a Piglet doll), and I have Pooh. (I count it in my 2...2? I forget if I'm at 21, 22, or 23 now. FUCK. Forgot I still need a Hawaiian Pooh! Missioooooon~)

AND NOW! The links where I mock all the shitty advertisement that's going out with this movie.

*headdesk* I'm not sure this photoshopper has ever seen a whip move. I mean... EVERYTHING is wrong with that picture. I think artists just enjoy drawing the lines, like snakes, or something. I can't figure out how you put together--professionally!--something that bad.

No, that's not it either. *facepalm facepalm facepalm* You can't swing on whips. And if that's a vine, it's the most boring vine I've ever seen, and the body/face comparison is HILARIOUSLY bad. And, uh, I think his shirt's the wrong color, too.

MightyMugg idol... sadly that's the best one.

I...what? No, seriously... what? I have no words.

That... is kind of more creepy than anything.

NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. Do want. Also reminds me I should pull out my old (OLD) yellow airplane spoon, that thing was kick-ass. And more! Except we don't get that cereal here.

What is this shit? Scratch that, I'd buy the Snickers bars. But hell no on the other stuff, unless we're getting backs like this, and, from what I understand, we're not. (We're getting DVD offers, just in case you didn't already own the set from the original DVD release, and didn't plan on buying them when they come out in a few weeks [yeah, just the three], and don't plan on buying them when a set of all four comes out [I'm calling 2011, Raiders' 30th, you'll see]. WTF)

This magazine is only sold in hobby stores. Buy me two with the limited edition cover and I'll pay you back, loooove youuuu... (Oh my god, the first thing I do when I get home will be hit up Dark Star. SO SAD)

See? Portugal. Why can't we have these nice things?

DISNEYLAND. DO WANT. Somebody get their hands on this for me. (Ohmygod, I can ask my roommate Demyla! She goes all the time! Yaaay)

What the fuck is this shit? The jist I get from the website is that it's a deck of cards for playing War... with Indiana Jones pictures. See, decks like this piss me off. Nice if it was just an Indiana Jones deck of cards, but no, when you specialize it to one game it becomes wasteful and stupid. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING.

This canteen has the potential to be Really Cool.

This? The coolest action figure ever. I'm waiting til they release the price, but no doubt I won't get it. The bad ones are at least $90. Fuuuuuuck.
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Oh yeah Fridays! Kind of excited, went out to Kahala Mall after school and found some fabulous purple shirts. =) One's dressy and the other one is a total glamwhore shirt, but I love it. Gray with silver swirls and purplish street-art type stuff. Total love. Also broke down and picked up a Blues Brothers fedora... so I do have initiative to dress up as such for Halloween. (I have to think ahead, I will be soooo busy in the fall and I love details too much.)

What else? Oh, damn, perfect timing, the phone I want is FINALLY ON SALE. Just went on sale today, in fact! I've had my eye on that samsung flips-both-ways phone ever since DayDay showed it off to me... Total geekwant. TOTAL. I have absolutely no legitimate reason to want it. I don't use it for anything, it's thin enough to make me nervous I'd break it. My phone works perfectly after two years (I treat technology well, thankyouverymuch to all you "hey I dropped my phone in the toiler now give me your numbers over facebook because I'm lazy" people ;D ). The only thing I have going for it is that I'm due for a new phone through them so I might have a deal that way. If not, what was a $130 phone is now $80 because of a $50 rebate, PLUS buyonegetonefree, and since my mom will be here next week and she is due for a new phone, too... hehehehe. LOVE IT. (All I can do is laugh in the general direction of my sister who lost her phone snowboarding and I think has destroyed it at least once since then. MUAHAHAHA. Patience and stinginess wins out my wallet in the long run. [note: I am both stingy and evil. And patient. WHA-CHA]) so now just to convince my mom to do without a phone until it would get shipped to her...

Aaaaand what else today? OH MY FUCKING GOD. I am one of those people who insists on eating breakfast, right? Um, and I don't like being dizzy, or feeling sick, because I am one of those people who can't throw up to get rid of the tension, it just... blech. Um. So. Today I just forgot to eat breakfast, and Mr. Yukio had the oven running. I wore a long sleeve shirt but it wasn't that bad...

Dang, I dunno. I'm usually really good about everything, so all I can guess is iron deficiency (it happens every time I move away from home--we have hard water from a well) accelerated by girlweek. OH, plus I was standing up glazing my piece, when I usually sit. So I suppose being slightly overheated and burning a few more calories and being iron deficient and skipping breakfast is enough accumulated reasons, anyhow... You know what I hate most about getting lightheaded? How everything you see becomes hypersaturated and you get some nice bloom and hyperdefinition around the edges of things. That is the worst. Why? Because I don't pass out easily, but in order to actually see where I'm going to take care of myself, I have to actually, you know, see it.

So anyway, I stopped glazing and leaned on the table just to see if it was going to pass (just the heat maybe?), but it didn't. It didn't really get better or worse, but I decided since nothing was happening I should probably sit down to try to conserve my energy. So I pulled up an empty chair and sat down and went back to glazing (albeit slowly), and then... it got a little bit worse. So, I'm sitting there, trying to remember the last time I almost passed out to see if I could remember if I actually passed out. (I want to say it was sometime this summer, but I can't actually think of any specific time. The last time I actually remember something similar happening was GOD REST YE REHEARSAL SOPHOMORE YEAR LOL. Omg pizza spots haha [although, I haven't ever gotten pizza spots again, just the white-out]) Anyway, so, it eases up for a second and I decide to work up the guts to ask where the bathroom is (upstairs and on the other side of the building...great) so I carefully work my way up there (holding onto the railing, and I made sure to tell the ceramics assistant that I didn't feel too well) and take a drink from the fountain, and lay down on the floor for about five minutes, and then go to the bathroom, drink some more, and get back to class.

All in all a very interesting day... Whiting out is so fricking weird.

Oh, man, at Kahala I went with Lauren to Lenscrafters, and I was reading a People magazine from last year like June or something, and it said that "fricking" (and "omigod", lamely) had been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Which is awesome (other than "omigod"). I <3 Austin Powers. It seems hilariously pathetic (but not really) to have something so small define so much of me, but I can't explain it... I didn't even do it on purpose. I just pick up turns of phrase, try them out a few times, and they manage to stick. Yaaay. (See also: cursing like a sailor... thank you, drum corps.)

68 days until Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! Today's trivia: Guess what! New reference for my collection. I pretty much ran through all the videos from the library that I wanted to watch, so I picked up Lost season one since everybody loves it so much and the few episodes I've seen seem decent. And Sawyer calls Michael's kid "Short Round" just once. Oh, but it's enough to make me smirk, so there you go.

Valuable information, eh? What a day.

Oh hey question--culinary arts question, coming from someone who was totally culinarily spoiled as a child. My mom pretty much raised me on Esther Price and chocolate, so I'll eat just about any kind of chocolate (except white chocolate--it's not chocolate and it tastes like shiiiiite). But I know a lot of people have sensitive (pussy? lame? unfortunate?) tastes and can't handle the richness of European chocolate (omg don't get me started on European vs American breads) or dark chocolate, but I read from someone they tried like 70% cocoa bars and it burned. This does not make sense to me. I can understand it's more bitter, and it's an acquired taste (I wouldn't even touch Hershey's dark when I was little), but I picked up a 65% at the gas station (if there is one reason to come to Hawaii, it is for CHEAP, EASILY ACCESSIBLE, HIGH-QUALITY CHOCOLATE. AND MACADAMIA NUTS. I AM NOT FUCKING JOKING HERE PEOPLE) and I mean, no problem, it's rich but delicious. So... can I get some input?

Also, hoping that I can go horseback riding tomorrow, and if I can, that it doesn't suck and isn't just like riding a donkey tour in the Grand Canyon. To me, horseback riding means LET'S RIDE MOTHAFUCKA. (I have never actually been horseback riding, so to speak. I have ridden on a horse's back a few times when I was younger but I'd love to go for a good ride once. And I'm not even a horse person! Unless you count that the drawing book I had on horses [amongst many others] taught me to pay attention to muscle structure.)

Also, I completely forget the word, but Hawaiian Cowboys = Awesome Subculture, lol.

[EDIT]ACK, question I really need you to answer: If you were in a ceramics class, what would you make? I need to make my final projects pretty much starting Monday, and I only have a few weeks, and I don't really have any solid ideas. And it has to be something of substance and meaning, so... yeah. I've tried searching deviantart but I'm not really coming up with anything terribly inspiring. Not in the realm of ceramics, at least.

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