![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
so...sophomore retreat...i guess...just so depressing. mrs watson had us hold our hands up and we looked at our emotional/physical/spiritual sins (in the form of scars and the lines on our hands) that could be offered up to god...it was so incredibly touching because it's what put Jesus on the cross...and...I can't imagine how heart-wrenching it must have been if you've seen the Passion. Although some who did are so INCREDIBLY ditzy...they didn't cry (probably in fear their makeup would run)...so SHALLOW... wow. But anyways, I just held the tears back because she was finished talking and I was touched but I really didn't want to be tired later (which I am now.). But they turned the music on, and I wasn't even thinking about anything, but I started crying...and I looked over at Lara, and I cried more...like I said, there were only about five of us, curled up in little balls, crying. So they called our groups up one by one to go dip our hands in wax (later we would peel it away, like God was forgiving us.) ...I looked back, to wait for Liz...she was so torn inside, I was crushed...I don't know what did it, but she didn't even stand up. Lara went and sat by her, and later our group did, too...but...she must be writhing inside.
Anyways, now I am emotionally numb...as Jess said...depressed, if you will...why the heck did they start on ahappy note (musical bodyparts and dancing!) and end with the depressing stuff? And as soon as we left that room, the shallow people went back to being shallow...and people I thought had changed when they went to Carroll...they did, just in the opposite way I thought. Shallow. We had already decided earlier in our small-group that makeup was only to impress the guys. Did you see any guys there? I didn't think so!! And those people were so shallow...ARE so shallow...afraid to cry...makeup? image? We talked about all of it earlier!
With Liz...I think we all cried more for her..I know I did. I don't know why i was crying...it was just worse when I looked at Lara (Niemer too!)...and Liz later...it just that life's not fair...they shouldn't have to bear this load, and not have fun...i think we all kind of wished that liz would kind of hand it over to us...if it could be done...whatever.
I'm also depressed, because, out of the first 10 minutes of school I was at, some of my friends weren't there that I really needed to see. And i didn't really talk to them afterward (just a glimpse). Depressing. I need a pick-me-up. tired chocolate, and Do-si-dos...eh, i really don't feel like doing my homework, but I NEED to.
Someone please leave me a note. Please. I need it!!
=^u.u^= ~Mercat~ *sigh*
Anyways, now I am emotionally numb...as Jess said...depressed, if you will...why the heck did they start on ahappy note (musical bodyparts and dancing!) and end with the depressing stuff? And as soon as we left that room, the shallow people went back to being shallow...and people I thought had changed when they went to Carroll...they did, just in the opposite way I thought. Shallow. We had already decided earlier in our small-group that makeup was only to impress the guys. Did you see any guys there? I didn't think so!! And those people were so shallow...ARE so shallow...afraid to cry...makeup? image? We talked about all of it earlier!
With Liz...I think we all cried more for her..I know I did. I don't know why i was crying...it was just worse when I looked at Lara (Niemer too!)...and Liz later...it just that life's not fair...they shouldn't have to bear this load, and not have fun...i think we all kind of wished that liz would kind of hand it over to us...if it could be done...whatever.
I'm also depressed, because, out of the first 10 minutes of school I was at, some of my friends weren't there that I really needed to see. And i didn't really talk to them afterward (just a glimpse). Depressing. I need a pick-me-up. tired chocolate, and Do-si-dos...eh, i really don't feel like doing my homework, but I NEED to.
Someone please leave me a note. Please. I need it!!
=^u.u^= ~Mercat~ *sigh*
