college life!

Well, I did absolutely nothing (pretty much) today. I slept in until 11, then stayed in my dorm and transferred computer files... turns out everyone else stayed in, too, because it was raining. Liz and I met Heinig for dinner so I could show off my uber-cool laptop (TABLET--W00T), and then we visited Chris Pitstick for a little while.

I kinda feel like I imagined my roommate, since she's gone home both weekends. Oh, well.

Well, tomorrow I will be 18 and... I dunno. I don't really care. More sad than anything, I'm not legally a kid anymore. I don't identify with all the songs that talk about being seventeen (lol). It just feels... not right. I enjoy being the underage college kid.

Oh, well. That's life... I can still act like a kid! Haha.

Well, I'm off to see a movie in someone's room... maybe Candice or Liz.

=^n.n^=

college life!

Well, I did absolutely nothing (pretty much) today. I slept in until 11, then stayed in my dorm and transferred computer files... turns out everyone else stayed in, too, because it was raining. Liz and I met Heinig for dinner so I could show off my uber-cool laptop (TABLET--W00T), and then we visited Chris Pitstick for a little while.

I kinda feel like I imagined my roommate, since she's gone home both weekends. Oh, well.

Well, tomorrow I will be 18 and... I dunno. I don't really care. More sad than anything, I'm not legally a kid anymore. I don't identify with all the songs that talk about being seventeen (lol). It just feels... not right. I enjoy being the underage college kid.

Oh, well. That's life... I can still act like a kid! Haha.

Well, I'm off to see a movie in someone's room... maybe Candice or Liz.

=^n.n^=

I don't understand this world, so I've got to make my own...

Did I miss a band party tonight? This sucks. It sounds like all the band kids are hanging out and I am really not terribly happy.

Yeah, I don't know what's up with me. Lately I've been figuring things out, but... not in a terribly good way. I mean, the conclusions I reach aren't that great.

Like the fact that thoughts about how relationships, no matter how happy those thoughts make me feel, make me sick to my stomach and angry at myself. Like right now I am hating myself for writing this out. Why waste the freakin' time?!

ARGH.

LIFE

YOU ARE A BITCH

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

(I'm not really that angry, just looking for something to do, and kind of sad.)

[edit: a summary of why I feel shitty: I am alone on a Saturday night, the day before my birthday. what a fucking shithole. hopefully tomorrow will be an improvement.]

[edit2: feeling better talking to a friend online who sometimes gets depressed in much the same manner. said friend believes it's just because when I find out someone likes me I feel used, like they only were my friend in order to move on. plausible, but I'm still feeling weird. also said friend freaked out when I said it's my brithday so I'm going to someone else's party to see people. yay! I feel so much better having a friend who cares =^n.n^=]

I don't understand this world, so I've got to make my own...

Did I miss a band party tonight? This sucks. It sounds like all the band kids are hanging out and I am really not terribly happy.

Yeah, I don't know what's up with me. Lately I've been figuring things out, but... not in a terribly good way. I mean, the conclusions I reach aren't that great.

Like the fact that thoughts about how relationships, no matter how happy those thoughts make me feel, make me sick to my stomach and angry at myself. Like right now I am hating myself for writing this out. Why waste the freakin' time?!

ARGH.

LIFE

YOU ARE A BITCH

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

(I'm not really that angry, just looking for something to do, and kind of sad.)

[edit: a summary of why I feel shitty: I am alone on a Saturday night, the day before my birthday. what a fucking shithole. hopefully tomorrow will be an improvement.]

[edit2: feeling better talking to a friend online who sometimes gets depressed in much the same manner. said friend believes it's just because when I find out someone likes me I feel used, like they only were my friend in order to move on. plausible, but I'm still feeling weird. also said friend freaked out when I said it's my brithday so I'm going to someone else's party to see people. yay! I feel so much better having a friend who cares =^n.n^=]