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Did I miss a band party tonight? This sucks. It sounds like all the band kids are hanging out and I am really not terribly happy.
Yeah, I don't know what's up with me. Lately I've been figuring things out, but... not in a terribly good way. I mean, the conclusions I reach aren't that great.
Like the fact that thoughts about how relationships, no matter how happy those thoughts make me feel, make me sick to my stomach and angry at myself. Like right now I am hating myself for writing this out. Why waste the freakin' time?!
ARGH.
LIFE
YOU ARE A BITCH
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.
(I'm not really that angry, just looking for something to do, and kind of sad.)
[edit: a summary of why I feel shitty: I am alone on a Saturday night, the day before my birthday. what a fucking shithole. hopefully tomorrow will be an improvement.]
[edit2: feeling better talking to a friend online who sometimes gets depressed in much the same manner. said friend believes it's just because when I find out someone likes me I feel used, like they only were my friend in order to move on. plausible, but I'm still feeling weird. also said friend freaked out when I said it's my brithday so I'm going to someone else's party to see people. yay! I feel so much better having a friend who cares =^n.n^=]
Yeah, I don't know what's up with me. Lately I've been figuring things out, but... not in a terribly good way. I mean, the conclusions I reach aren't that great.
Like the fact that thoughts about how relationships, no matter how happy those thoughts make me feel, make me sick to my stomach and angry at myself. Like right now I am hating myself for writing this out. Why waste the freakin' time?!
ARGH.
LIFE
YOU ARE A BITCH
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.
(I'm not really that angry, just looking for something to do, and kind of sad.)
[edit: a summary of why I feel shitty: I am alone on a Saturday night, the day before my birthday. what a fucking shithole. hopefully tomorrow will be an improvement.]
[edit2: feeling better talking to a friend online who sometimes gets depressed in much the same manner. said friend believes it's just because when I find out someone likes me I feel used, like they only were my friend in order to move on. plausible, but I'm still feeling weird. also said friend freaked out when I said it's my brithday so I'm going to someone else's party to see people. yay! I feel so much better having a friend who cares =^n.n^=]
