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So, didn’t make Phantom. =( It was definitely not what I expected of their camp, though… our visual auditions were Friday night for an hour and a half, and that was the only check they did for that. No run, no watching us while we played in ensemble. Yeah, and my audition was at 8:00 last night after I cranked on first part all day. No wonder I sounded like shit. Blech. And they didn’t listen to us in ensemble, either. I know I sounded a lot better there and I looked a lot better in ensemble than a lot of the other people, who just kind of stood there.
But… Chris didn’t make it, and Josh isn’t going to callbacks even though he got into it. So, I don’t know where we’re going, but yeah. Phooey. I was really surprised they didn’t take time to talk to each of us a little to check attitudes, or dedication, whatnot. Or at least evaluate us in ensemble… I mean, yeah, there’s 500+ people, but STILL. I think that’s very important, especially compared to just plain old ability to play. And I didn’t look at my visual sheet yet, so I don’t know about that, either.
And then the whole solo judge thing… it’s stupid that they switched judges on us. I knew what the one guy was looking for, to an extent, and that’s how I was ready to play. But no, they switched it to this other guy, who’d been evaluating the “highschoolers” all day. He said I didn’t play it musically enough, but I mean the three or so guys in front of me who went… those were NOT musical, in my opinion, they were just FAKE emotion. And that pisses me off. I kept a steady tempo and tried to keep it light, rather than overblowing and the other bad things I’d noticed in the other guys (like the ones standing behind me, Jesus Christ…), but no. Fuckmuffins.
Yeah, just looked at my visual sheet. Posture? Not broad enough shoulder-wise, and "strength is a concern"?! Oh, and SUBDIVIDE. And "projection." FUCK THIS. I was freaking tired, been in a car all day and it was 9 PM. And did they ever come out to check us in ensemble? NO. But they would have fucking seen I was the ONLY one projecting, thankyouverymuchfucktards. And my slides were goddamn AWESOME.
Yeah, I needed to vent. But seriously, not much to work on from there. Pfft. Craploaders.
And yeah, I was so OUT last night. I was tired and sore, still am. Had a weird dream with this freak-house like place, and this giant fishtank that had holes in it and the floor flooded and I was worried about the water leaking in because it wasn’t coniditoned for the fish. And then I dreamt I picked up my fish from Kay and Mark’s and they had the bowl upside-down and full (?!) and my fish was sick… and then they put it in with their fish and they were fighting. And when I got another bowl ready and was putting medicine and conditioner in each bowl, the one for their fish was squeezing out these clownfish-colored feathery things, and for my fish a green and purple anemone.
I DON’T KNOW EITHER, IT WAS WEEEEIRD.
So in the car on the way home, I read my mom's book, Cancer Vixen... it's really good. One of the semi-serious mantras she had was "Fake it until you make it." Which, I can't say is good all the time, relationships and all, but there are a lot of times when it's what you need to get you through. I would cite examples of a certain friend I discussed with my mom this weeked, but some of you know this person (it's a person who no longer attends Carroll, and I will leave it at that) and it would not be good. Just... they kept saying they were giving up, and I kept saying, the only way to NOT be in a bad mood about doing nothing is to DO something. But no, way to be asstastic and depressed. Fucking emos. Goddamn how I hate illegitimate emotion.
Also, the main character has these personifications of her good and bad sides, kind of like the little shoulder angel/devils. And I was just thinking... I've always been accepting of other religions, and the girl in the book talks to both priests and rabbis to get through her struggles. And Catholicism means universal, and God is in everything, and Catholics are accepting of that which is good and right in all religions (or we're supposed to be), as long as you accept there is one god.
So what if there is one God, or one power, we can't be exactly sure, it's freaking GOD--and he just has his manifestations in everything? I already look at the good in people and my environment most of the time, so why would accepting it all as wonderful and religious be too much different? Does that make sense? Well it does to me.
And I may have written ebout this already, but Sammy wrote in Minge411 on Xanga the other day about how faith isn't proven false in times of need, it's what you have to turn to. And I think that that thought I just had about accepting it all as religious, and being able to acknowledge that all, rather than being cold and not...universal... I think I'm through my phase of questioning. =P
I'm glad something turned out right this weekend.
But… Chris didn’t make it, and Josh isn’t going to callbacks even though he got into it. So, I don’t know where we’re going, but yeah. Phooey. I was really surprised they didn’t take time to talk to each of us a little to check attitudes, or dedication, whatnot. Or at least evaluate us in ensemble… I mean, yeah, there’s 500+ people, but STILL. I think that’s very important, especially compared to just plain old ability to play. And I didn’t look at my visual sheet yet, so I don’t know about that, either.
And then the whole solo judge thing… it’s stupid that they switched judges on us. I knew what the one guy was looking for, to an extent, and that’s how I was ready to play. But no, they switched it to this other guy, who’d been evaluating the “highschoolers” all day. He said I didn’t play it musically enough, but I mean the three or so guys in front of me who went… those were NOT musical, in my opinion, they were just FAKE emotion. And that pisses me off. I kept a steady tempo and tried to keep it light, rather than overblowing and the other bad things I’d noticed in the other guys (like the ones standing behind me, Jesus Christ…), but no. Fuckmuffins.
Yeah, just looked at my visual sheet. Posture? Not broad enough shoulder-wise, and "strength is a concern"?! Oh, and SUBDIVIDE. And "projection." FUCK THIS. I was freaking tired, been in a car all day and it was 9 PM. And did they ever come out to check us in ensemble? NO. But they would have fucking seen I was the ONLY one projecting, thankyouverymuchfucktards. And my slides were goddamn AWESOME.
Yeah, I needed to vent. But seriously, not much to work on from there. Pfft. Craploaders.
And yeah, I was so OUT last night. I was tired and sore, still am. Had a weird dream with this freak-house like place, and this giant fishtank that had holes in it and the floor flooded and I was worried about the water leaking in because it wasn’t coniditoned for the fish. And then I dreamt I picked up my fish from Kay and Mark’s and they had the bowl upside-down and full (?!) and my fish was sick… and then they put it in with their fish and they were fighting. And when I got another bowl ready and was putting medicine and conditioner in each bowl, the one for their fish was squeezing out these clownfish-colored feathery things, and for my fish a green and purple anemone.
I DON’T KNOW EITHER, IT WAS WEEEEIRD.
So in the car on the way home, I read my mom's book, Cancer Vixen... it's really good. One of the semi-serious mantras she had was "Fake it until you make it." Which, I can't say is good all the time, relationships and all, but there are a lot of times when it's what you need to get you through. I would cite examples of a certain friend I discussed with my mom this weeked, but some of you know this person (it's a person who no longer attends Carroll, and I will leave it at that) and it would not be good. Just... they kept saying they were giving up, and I kept saying, the only way to NOT be in a bad mood about doing nothing is to DO something. But no, way to be asstastic and depressed. Fucking emos. Goddamn how I hate illegitimate emotion.
Also, the main character has these personifications of her good and bad sides, kind of like the little shoulder angel/devils. And I was just thinking... I've always been accepting of other religions, and the girl in the book talks to both priests and rabbis to get through her struggles. And Catholicism means universal, and God is in everything, and Catholics are accepting of that which is good and right in all religions (or we're supposed to be), as long as you accept there is one god.
So what if there is one God, or one power, we can't be exactly sure, it's freaking GOD--and he just has his manifestations in everything? I already look at the good in people and my environment most of the time, so why would accepting it all as wonderful and religious be too much different? Does that make sense? Well it does to me.
And I may have written ebout this already, but Sammy wrote in Minge411 on Xanga the other day about how faith isn't proven false in times of need, it's what you have to turn to. And I think that that thought I just had about accepting it all as religious, and being able to acknowledge that all, rather than being cold and not...universal... I think I'm through my phase of questioning. =P
I'm glad something turned out right this weekend.
