The Daily Adventures of Mercat

Yeah, so... I was all ready to epic post and everything. I decided to watch Big Fish because my roommates hadn't seen it, and I completely didn't know that Ewan McGregor was in it and Tim Burton directed it, so I decided to watch it again.

Well, I remembered it was a sad story but I figured I knew the whole plot and everything so I would be fine... until I remembered that the last time I watched it was with Nana right before she died, when mom and I were living with her.

I dunno, I'm not homesick but I definitely miss hanging out with everyone back home. I figured out that what I miss most is "lunch at the band table" (so to speak), a.k.a. hanging out with people that make me laugh. =(

And though I can't recall them at the moment, I know I've had dreams lately that remind me of Nana and stuff. So, I'm definitely crying right now, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to work up a mood to really post anything else, so... sorry. =( It just reminds me of some other stuff that's going on that I can't really talk about but it makes me miss everyone back home a lot.

[EDIT] I totally f'd up those DA links the other day, but they are fixèd now. (Also did you know that accent is called a "grave accent"? I am in love the grave accent, but that is probably the syllable pedant in me [in regard to poetry at least].)

My iTunes shuffle choices hate me. I'm going to get back to crying now. ='/

Sooo... Heath Ledger's dead.

I dunno how I feel about this. I was kind of shocked, because he seemed to have pretty good movies and be generally a pretty good guy. And I'm sort of upset because I have a lot of respect and love for the Nolan brothers' Batman, and his Joker looks awesome. (Are they even finished filming? I'd think so, with the trailer out...) But at the same time, the only other movie I could have told you he was in was Brokeback Mountain, although Brothers Grimm and A Knight's Tale are ones I've seen as well, which I like very much. (Just didn't realize it was him--if I don't particularly like an actor, their movies tend to not stick in my head. Heck, even if I do they don't.) So, I never really watched for news of him or anything, so it doesn't really affect me much, other than making me a little upset that Dark Knight and Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus might be affected. =/ That's probably seemingly rude to say, but it's not like I knew this guy on any sort of personal level. ([EDIT3] Oh, and I'm Not There, which I really wanted to see because Christian Bale and Cate Blanchett were in it, as well as Ledger who I had recognized as being awesome for being chosen as the Joker. But I still seem indifferent, and if less so only because I didn't realize how much faith I put in the Nolan brothers after watching the amazing plotlines of Batman Begins and The Prestige, even though I totally knew I did.)

So honestly, it's just rather surreal, and not even in a paranoid "something's not right here" type of way. It's just... huh. Odd. Like it should have been someone else? Like I should care more, rather than just turning around and going about my business? Something like that. *shrug*

It really is sad for his two-year-old daughter, though. =( I bet it would be weird to be watching successful movies and going "hey, that's my dad," and that being the only way you know him. That's fucking creepy, and sad.

Sadder/creepier? It seems like the emotion he put into his work--really living the character--is what did him in. From everything I've read so far (I know, it's been less than 24 hours, how reliable are these sources), it seems like playing such a psychopathic and strange Joker really messed him up. Apparently he did an interview saying that his "inconsistency" (to make it scary) caused him to sleep terribly, and that taking two Ambien only helped him sleep for an hour or so. Which, if you look at that fact next to the fact that he died next to a bunch of sleeping pills, seems very tragic and unfortunate, but it does say something for how dedicated he was to his work, and why he was such a good actor. ([EDIT2] Apparently he was researching for a drug-addict role as well? Even more tragic, but I still can't look at it with anything more than a studious interest.)

Um, so... yeah. Life goes on? I will watch the Dark Knight and will probably think about how surreal it is that he's no longer alive, but that's because I do have that weird morbid twinge. (So it's interesting that I'm compelled to write this much--I think I should care more than I do.)

Huh.

[EDIT] Actually, it kind of reminds me of how I felt when someone told me (Saturday morning before a football game) that Steve Irwin had died. More like it was a trivia fact than anything, and it seems tragic for the rest of your life every time you think about it, but not at first.

Still. Huh.

[EDIT4] Apparently he'd had pneumonia, too. Which really just makes it more of a tragedy, almost a Victorian one, in my mind. What a loss.

I really need to do my homework. =/