mercat: (Default)
Okay, so, Van Helsing is pretty much cheesy as hell no matter how you look at it, but that's why it's good, right Katy? =P

Anyway, it's kind of terribly written (but only kind of) and I never understood if it was supposed to be the first of a series or what, but they set up this mystery of who Van Helsing is--he's apparently been alive for nearly 1800 years and has no idea who he is--and he's supposed to maybe figure it out at Castle Anthrax Valerious (or... Drac's place, rather, now that I think about it) but they never fucking explain it. It always bothers me, every time I watch it, because despite how cheesy the rest of it is, they wrap things up pretty cleverly and tightly with the "deus ex machina" and shit. (FYI, I love that "Q" scene in the Vatican. I lol my ass off every time.) (Oh, and for as cheesy as it is, the CGI is pretty damn good. It actually doesn't bother me, for once.)

But yeah, my whole point of this (which was supposed to be a short post) is to say that I figured it out.

HE'S WOLVERINE, ~DUH~


which also explains the adamantium silver adamantium bullets, lol.


[EDIT] Oooooh, apparently he's supposed to be the angel Gabriel or some shit. And apparently I don't give a shit, and I only watch this movie for the cheez factor.




That's true. It's only fair, assessment-wise.



[Bride of EDIT] Also, I never understood the whole wolf-sticking-to-the-wall thing. Never.

[Son od EDIT] Okay, so, they never actually explicitly call him the angel Gabriel, I guess you're supposed to figure out that's what "the Left Hand of God" means, which I can't say I've ever heard other than in this movie. (And let me tell you, this movie is a huge mishmash of many other pieces.)

And more to the point, how is that even satisfying? Haha, you get to live forever, cursed by the church, and going around killing evil for God. What fun that will be, amirite?

This movie is so weird. But soooo good. In a bad way.

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mercat

November 2015

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