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So, I realy feel like when I post in this journal it's just me complaining about being "a teenager", you know? Also, as I write more personal things I write more personally, as if I were holding a conversation, using "like"s and "you know?"s and such. And I just feel like this whoel thing is too much filled with drama and emotions and I HATE emos. Partially this entry is because I find it very sad that what was normal for teenagers is now a fashion statement and a lifestyle. Pathetic.
So, I'm just very frustrated that I don't focus on life as a whole much any more, or interesting things about it, but that I'm trying to sort out whatever I am. I guess that's better than all the REAL drama filled MySpaces and Xangas and LiveJournals which actually resort to "and tommy went out with lisa yesterday but she is SUCH a h0r b/c OMG u no wut she did with frEddie?!" and the comments go something like "omg amanda I FOUND U h0rrrr!!!!111! u r a liar" and such like that.
So... I've had a major backlog of posts from March through now, roughly, sitting in my inbox waiting to be posted, but I just can't bring myself to post them. They are getting posted to my personal journal, and who knows what will happen to that. I don't want to get into that, but sometimes I feel horrible, because I hide things about myself so I don't have to read them later and feel ashamed or whatever. The way I justify it (haha) is like it's when you think of something mean to say, and you feel bad for thinking it, but you're human and you don't say it or do it, whatever it was, and that's why you're "a good person."
Anyway. From now on I'm going to try to post more exploratory things about people and life and not just me, and also really random things. (I know, my journal, my choices, but still, I'm trying to avoid that whole "drama-whoring teenager" stereotype by about a million miles.)
So... before I leave next Friday, expect a fantastically large post involving Indiana Jones IV details (important stuff, I know).
So, I'm just very frustrated that I don't focus on life as a whole much any more, or interesting things about it, but that I'm trying to sort out whatever I am. I guess that's better than all the REAL drama filled MySpaces and Xangas and LiveJournals which actually resort to "and tommy went out with lisa yesterday but she is SUCH a h0r b/c OMG u no wut she did with frEddie?!" and the comments go something like "omg amanda I FOUND U h0rrrr!!!!111! u r a liar" and such like that.
So... I've had a major backlog of posts from March through now, roughly, sitting in my inbox waiting to be posted, but I just can't bring myself to post them. They are getting posted to my personal journal, and who knows what will happen to that. I don't want to get into that, but sometimes I feel horrible, because I hide things about myself so I don't have to read them later and feel ashamed or whatever. The way I justify it (haha) is like it's when you think of something mean to say, and you feel bad for thinking it, but you're human and you don't say it or do it, whatever it was, and that's why you're "a good person."
Anyway. From now on I'm going to try to post more exploratory things about people and life and not just me, and also really random things. (I know, my journal, my choices, but still, I'm trying to avoid that whole "drama-whoring teenager" stereotype by about a million miles.)
So... before I leave next Friday, expect a fantastically large post involving Indiana Jones IV details (important stuff, I know).
