The Daily Adventures of Mercat

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. This may be partly due to psych 101; much like philosophy courses, I end up having a great deal to think about that impacts my normal everyday already large-topic-encompassing thought process. As such, this post is all over the places and contains both shallow and ponderous (omg, "pond"erous, get it? pun not intended, but fully enjoyed by this mercat) artifacts.

I freaking love crazy fan theories. I've read a few great ones lately, that Fight Club is grown up Calvin & Hobbes, Pokemon is a coma dream Ash is having to deal with his issues, Ferris Beuller is all in Cameron's head, it goes on. Some of them are crazy-awesome but completely unncessary (like these), others more legit (the r2d2 theory, which sort of retcons the plot holes added by the new trilogy). ANYWAY, I was directed to this fantabulous page of crazy fan theories about Iron Man. My personal favorites are:

1) The quantum moustache theory

Tony's facial hair exists in a state of quantum entanglement
This theory is an attempt to reconcile how Tony can appear in separate comics with either the modern goatee or the retro 'stache. In a similar situation to Schrodinger's Cat, Tony simultaneously has a goatee and a mustache until the artist "observes" him.

* Screw the laws of physics, I have money!

2) The Tesla theory

Tony Stark is a clone of Nikola Tesla.
Minus the madness, of course.

The man builds an arc reactor (in a cave with a box of scraps no less), plugs it into his chest, builds the iron man suit and hunts down the people who got access to his weapons without him knowing about it and you're trying to tell me he's not crazy?

3) Rhody's recasting

Rhody is going to get severely injured between films and require skin grafts
The recovery process will result in Rhodes getting thinner and his skin getting darker.

4) The Iron Man theory

Tony Stark is really Iron Man.
I've got it! Iron Man is supposedly an employee of Stark Enterprises but no evidence of this has ever been really seen - he's never seen following Stark even though he's supposed to be Stark's bodyguard, and on the rare occasions they are seen in the same room, Iron Man never speaks, so it could easily be anyone wearing the same armour. Stark has numerous times supposedly fired Iron Man but it doesn't stop Iron Man from appearing even though he should be out of funding and Stark always welcomes him back with open arms in the end. What more evidence do you need?

* Dude, where have you been? He claimed so in that one meet the press thing the military did about Iron Man.
* No, that press thing was just a stint to throw us off it was just like that time Harvey Dent said he was the Batman but he wasn't! But maybe you're on to something with the jerkass billionaire playboy idea... Hmm. Have we ever seen Bruce Wayne and Iron Man together?

o And Peter Parker can never get photos of Superman! It's all so clear.

+ Yes, of course... BRUCE WAYNE IS TONY STARK!
+ Obviously, they agreed to a corporate merger. It was cemented by Stark and Wayne by using the Dragon Ball Z fusion earrings. Ladies and Gentlemen: Toby Stayne!

5) All of Stan Lee's characters are the same guy (just plain epic)

6) ALL OF THE CROSSOVER THEORIES

Seriously, this page, just for entertainment's sake, I love it. The pure hilarity of it is impressive.

(Also, just ran over to the Indy page to see what the deal was, of course, it's not so nearly entertainment so much as people trying to pretend ToD and KotCS didn't happen. ACCEPT THEM AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. It's on these occasions I am sad that the Indy fans are relatively a good deal older or a good deal younger than me...)

(Additionally, wtf, "the skull was magnetic, the gold could actually be real magnetic material"?! YOU FAIL AT SCIENCE. CRYSTAL =/= MAGNETIC.)

These sort of things make me wonder how many movie viewers actually incorrectly explain plot holes, as some people clearly to not understand logic and some to not understand science. BUT I DIGRESS, I am so far afield from anything relevant to this post idek.

Let's go where I was originally going, teenage rebellion. I don't know why it came up, but I was thinking about it yesterday and I have concluded that perhaps, despite my "goody-two-shoes" image (ha), there may exist a natural rebellion in every teenager, and perhaps I was just lucky enough to be able to funnel this energy into more useful outlets. Pats for Hats, holding grudges against certain asshats, and feminism. How did I realize this? I realized, when speaking metaphorically that sexism is THE button to press to make me go off--I realized that I (rather comparatively) flip out whenever sexism is the issue at hand. Regardless of how big or small the issue may be. And I really have no reason for feeling that passionately--well, actually, that may not be true, now that I put it to paper (or blog as the case may be). Perhaps my paranoia (well, constant worry over unnecessary things) against all sorts of things to go wrong causes me to feel oppressed by my environments and that's why I flip out with feminism? To try to regain confidence for the oppressed? I don't know, it's a legitimate theory.

Particularly in relation to this article I just read, that the objectification of women by men DIRECTLY AFFECTS THEIR SELF-CONFIDENCE. Perhaps what I believe to be my greater social awareness is to blame for what I call my "paranoia"? Maybe I will just start calling it "avid awareness" or some bullshit term because I feel like paranoia is unfair (not to mention unfounded. I'm somewhat clinically curious, though). ANYWAY.

(...My theory also explains why, I think, my family thinks I am bat-shit for thinking Twilight is bat-shit. Because I react that way, and I expect others to be as offended about feminism and stalkers and pedophilia BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME.)

No, I definitely still think that shit is horrifying

Again on the topic of feminism, the anti-rape condom. I have mixed feelings about this. One, well, it is good to have a tool to fight in this war? I don't know. But (two) it really bothers me that this puts the responsibility in the hands of the victim. I mean, I don't want to have to shove that thing up my vag just to maim a rapist in the event that may happen. I mean, what, do you wear this every time you go out? Every day? All day, all the time? (And technically, by the mechanics of it, is it really a condom? Idk, it's more like... a diaphragm trap. Except it's not a diaphragm either, I know I know, so... what is it?

...Well let's just say I'm resisting the urge to post Ackbar in here.) Anyway. I feel like this is a measure for the desperate only, and otherwise has some rather dire implications. BUT that is society and welcome to it =/

I am learning to play Hey Soul Sister on my uke; the chords are difficult both in that they hurt (gotta learn that stretch and that muscle memory) and that I don't know how to hold my uke properly to change chords rapidly. THIS IS A PROBLEM. No thanks to my uke teacher, of course, because I remember asking her and she never really had anything to say because she didn't have any sort of formal teaching. Awesomesauce.

Melissa taught me a new word today: revagulous. This may just take over for recockulous in terms of outlandishness and entertainment value. (See, I told you, I can appreciate bodily function jokes on the same level of my brain that is in psychology-mode. IT'S CRAZY, I know.)

(...Literally?)

CLUB OBI-WAN let's goooooo

Handwriting is History?! Let me answer that with an emphatic NO. What if all our computers were to die? And I'm guessing it teaches kids good small-motor-skills. Oh and then there's the part where typing special characters and equations is still a huge fucking pain in the ass. But this dude is a journalist so I'm sure he has no idea that trying to write out Taylor Series expansions is SO EASY WITH TABLETS, amirite? Oh wait, almost none of the engineers use their laptops to take notes. Too much a novelty, still.

This shirt is ugly as sin but I love the pun.

Random thing: I was just looking at passiveaggressivenotes.com and saw a "flowers to go: if your name is bitch, come in and get your free flowers" post. It reminded me that, I think, the night before I left for Spain, I was coming home from Regal 20 and met my parents for dinner at Marion's or ice cream at Friendly's or something (actually, I think it was a Thursday and I was coming home from my Thursday night science lecture), and I passed the flower place over by the gas station, and it had that promotion but it said "Diane" that day. =) Good times. Wow, random memory, huh?

A somewhat worrisome facebook article. They keep everything. HOLY SHIT. Also, it pisses me off that though they have all this old data, I can't recover my statuses and Twitter only keeeps 1,000 tweets. I lost all my first tweets :( And I had some good stuff I wanted to come back to, as well...

(Also, Facebook Beacon! Done via a 1x1 GIF bug. That is sly. And douchey. And I'm starting to hate facebook more and more.)

A history of the ampersand! Completely fascinating.

And on the topic of typography and characters, an English-language sarcasm mark. Only I find it ugly and I think if you are blatantly told something is sarcasm you are missing a critical level of enjoyment and understanding of sarcasm. In addition, if you miss written sarcasm you may want to re-evaluate whether you are truly understanding the writer. (Although the use for indicating sarcasm in subtitles is useful.) (And... it costs $2 to buy and use? Yeah... not gonna catch on, buds.)

Nightmare snowmen! As featured in Calvin and Hobbes. Fantastic work. Art.

Spent yesterday playing Pandemic 2, you can probably guess why. Let me tell you this: firstly, fuck Madagascar. Secondly, do not play this game unless you are willing to give up about six hours of your day. I mean it. That's how long it took me to successfully beat it, and I ended up pulling an all-nighter to write my papers that were due at noon. Oops.

So, swine flu? Not a pandemic yet, but being the slightly-paranoid be-prepared-for-anything-and-everything type of person I am, I am definitely tempted to Go Buy Shit.

Also I have to return my pistachios to Target because apparently there was a recall? Don't know if that was related to that salmonella outbreak or anything.

SO, Friday night was the best, most epic party ever. Two POD kids had a joint 21st with the theme "dress as your favorite Disney character", which, let me tell you, is a perfect way to get DEDICATED INVOLVEMENT at a costume party. You know how Halloween costumes are so half-assed now? Yeah, well, this party was not. Only I'd say a half dozen girls wore... clothes... with a princess crown, but everyone else DRESSED THE FUCK UP AND IT WAS AWESOME.

See, because when you throw a costume party out-of-season, peops are actually really ingenious. Candice went as Esmerelda and used a blue tube top as a corset. David went as Prince Eric and it was hilarious because he had jeans, hiking boots, and used a red tie as the sash. Carl didn't want to bother dressing up at first but I FINALLY convinced him, and though he was originally going to go as Gaston he went as the Hunchback which I might add is both simply and hilariously achieved by shoving a pillow up the back of one's shirt. Phil went as Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty, and he actually had a broadsword until the cops rode by and he decided to go inside and put it away. Let's see, there was a hilariously drunken/smoking Winnie the Pooh, a Wizarding Mickey, a Mr. and Mrs. Incredible (Josh and his gf), HOLY SHIT MARK WAS THE BEST BUZZ LIGHTYEAR EVER, he made it with boxes and duct tape (and we decided the trumpet section is having a Pixar Day next fall during band camp), and a hilarious sultan/genie, an Aladdin and Jasmine, Jen went as Cruella DeVille and was upset she couldn't find a cigarette holder but me in my costuming-obsessed hoarding manner had one so we walked over to my house to get it, and there were at least two people running around as Pongo and Perdita, though I thought I saw some other dalmations at first. I had been looking for an excuse to dress up as a pirate again (I haven't worn that outfit in about two years!) and to be quite honest I do not trust a large group of drunken people with a $300 hat, so I went all out and determined that I have enough clothing to dress two or three pirates and enough accessories for probably four. Seriously, I have more jewelry than I can wear at one time. Oh, and there was a group of Muses and a few other characters like Mickey running around, too. Oh, and we had Cogsworth, too, though for the first couple of hours I thought he had basketball lines drawn on his face.

At one point a bunch of people grabbed a bongo and a flute and a tambourine and a couple of pots and held an impromptu dance party in Art Street's amphitheatre, which went on for at least a good hour, maybe two. But that party went SO FUCKING LONG (at 3:30 Candice and David and I finally left, and people were still going) and everyone was being friendly and chatty (minus a few moments of drama and some poercelain bus driving) and it was just AWESOME. And I talked with the crazy kid dressed up as Pongo for a while (he went to Centerville and does Rhythm X) and he's rooking out with Bluecoats this summer on synth, so that's exciting. I love POD people and DCI people and everything. =)

Also I found out I am very bad at flip cup.

Anyway. And then yesterday all I did was curse Madagascar and write two horribly bullshat papers on Henry IV and the establishing scenes of Romeo and Juliet vs. Julius Caesar.

I didnot realize Romeo was such an emo, and now I hate that play more than ever.

WOO, good weekend.



ALSO--CHUCK: FINALE AND FOOTLONG is TONIGHT so WATCH THE SHOW and GO TO SUBWAY and yay. :D ~I'm exciiiiteeed~

39 days! That's craziness! Almost forgot to post here because I was busy reading lots of stuff. Today's trivia, which I meant to post over Spring Break when we were on Kauai; Hawaii does not have snakes. (Did I post this already?) Yeah. So. Later when I was thinking about blogging it I was kind of like "heh, Indiana Jones should move here." I know I'm so clever.

However, I learned some more today. I guess Hawaii is just isolated from a lot, because basically all the diseases brought in is what killed the natives (which I knew), BUT, Hawaii does not have RABIES either.

So that whole like first month when I was too sad and nervous to pet the kitties? WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AN ISSUE, ALL KITTIES HERE ARE CLEAN (so to speak).

Yeah, so.

[EDIT] FUCK, I just forgot what I was going to post in light of SOUTHWIND ALUMNI FOURTH OF JULY PARADE FUCK YEEAAAAAHHHHH! Know where I'll be July 4th.

[EDIT2] Oh, remembered the other thing. Apparently everyone associates computers with studying, though that is rarely what I'm doing on my computer. In the past year, I've gotten SO many comments on how I'm always studying, but, haha, yeah right, I'm a procrastinator. I just think it's intersting because my facebook vite-thing whatever my rank went up NINE places in "more studious". Wtf?

The Ring was actually pretty good. It's more of a psychological thriller, which is what I prefer, like Hitchcock films. Because, I know, you're supposed to be afraid that the girl is going to come after you because you just watched the movie, but whatever. Honestly the only really scary part was that she came out of the TV at the end, a lot of the rest of the movie was just kind of weird. But I'm okay with that, because I can tell you Saw is not my kind of movie (and I haven't even seen it), and this is the sort of thing I'm okay with. I don't think I'd like Freddie Kreuger or any of that sort of stuff, though, because there's no, I dunno, trigger or whatever. You wouldn't have any control over the situation.

Um, plus, I don't really get it. Why is she killing people? Her dad didn't want her, but why the hell did the mother kill her? And she hated the horses because they kept her up at night, but what was happening to the horses? And what was with the freaking tree? Maybe it's because I'm partially deaf (I dunno if that's true technically, but indoor percussion had to have destroyed some of my hearing), but... the story doesn't really make sense. (Plus, I'm such a story ruiner and logician and stuff, couldn't you just find two people who wanted to die, copy the tape for them, destroy the original [like the main character did] and then destroy the copy after they'd watched it? Mm, logic.)

So I guess if you know any "horror" films that wouldn't leave me disgusted, petrified, or paranoid afterward, I guess feel free to recommend them.


Hmm, this is not good, the arm I fell on this morning is starting to hurt, and it's sort of where I broke it back in 1996. Auugh.

Fuck, and I don't have any Tylenol.

Well, I am very proud of myself. I am hard at work on my gold award project on one laptop (uploading photos of Elvis memorabilia to research) and also loading facebook photos on that compy, whilst lolling about on LJ and visiting wikipedia's strange stuff and visiting PoTC2 sites like mms.com and lunchables.com. (I'm edumacating myself on stuff.)

While working and surfing at the same time and thoroughly enjoying myself, and actually being EAGER to get stuff done and clean my room and the like (this usually happens at night, so I wish my parents weren't making me get a job that will make me go back on a sleeping schedule...and also I need to apply before Saturday), I remembered that Mr. Hoefler said that he's afraid our entire generation will become workaholics, with all the stress they put on homework and having a great job and all that jazz. But I, personally, have come to think it's because they tell us to take jobs we love (in the long run), and I think that's why everyone's a workaholic. They love what they do! So anyway, my theory for today.

Apparently the undead are the theme of my day.