The Daily Adventures of Mercat

I got one, maybe two hours of sleep

I punched myself in the nose because of a damn poorly-designed conditioner bottle, and now I have a scratch across my nose and upper lip

I haven't been spelling things right all day

My cousin Kyle doesn't understand thermodynamics and shattered a glass bowl with boiling simple syrup everywhere pushing back dinner two hours

Dinner was delicious, bee tee dubs

Nobody cried for missing gramps (that I saw) (I think we're all tired of grandma's bullshit let's be honest) (we're all going to lose it Saturday)

Our cousin Chris showed up (the family "drunk" as it were-- he parties hard with no shame) and we all ended up making a post-dinner trek to Kroger for beer and cider and cups and pong balls

Kroger locked us out because they were closing in five minutes, I went back to the car and my sister and cousins snuck in the exit and beat a fair number of people through the line

I forgot to mention that my cousin was playing the CDs his Hitting-On-Him-Gay-Boss made for him but they cranked them up until I was deaf and they are all terrible dancers

Kyle owes me a game of Beer Hunter for driving them

I missed the James Bond marathon on SyFy and it occurred to me I've never seen a Timothy Dalton or George Lazenby one

But we found out Cato (Pink Panther) was in Goldfinger and that the character is also apparently in Inspector Gadget What I Can't Even

So we played beer pong on the porch and I think they got a fair number of the adults involved, apparently my sister got my grandma to swear to play a game next summer

Meanwhile I passed out in the basement for at least two hours and I still don't know what




So that was today

(I think this is the third time this year I've punched myself in the face)