Feb. 3rd, 2012

Babou!

Feb. 3rd, 2012 12:50 am
mercat: (Default)
So... my letter turned up at 21 pages. Holy christ.


Also, in rereading my post, I realized my internal monologue is pretty much exactly like a script for Archer. So if you're wondering how to read some of the commentary in my posts, just read it like one of those characters. I guess that's why I have come to love the show so much.
mercat: (Default)
regarding my journaling voice--

then again, I usually channel a bit of the voice of whatever I've been involved in (somewhat deeply) most recently. Which I'd say more of late has been internet-y type stuff like the normal LJ, some tumblr, a small tish of reddit. And of course memes abound, and I've noticed since 2008 that my writing has taken on a lot more meme style, which I'd say is what I sort of equate to the Archer style I mentioned, except that also has a lot of intentionally over-the-top emotion. Which I'd say is more a drum corps thing for me? But that's become a part of me, since 2007 and definitely reinforced since 2009.

It usually only happens when I get very involved in something-- like when I read all the Hitchhiker's Guide books, my voice took on a bit of Adams. (Not recently, I think pre-my-regular-blogging-days.) More recently when I watched a bunch of Sherlock, or Firefly. A lot of stuff that happened in the past that's become a part of my natural vocabulary that I can't avoid and sometimes completely forget about-- Homestar Runner, Ace Ventura and winter percussion jokes, all the random Doctor Evil things that slip in there.


An aside, I also find it interesting that the voice I write with is not often the voice I speak with. I am much more quiet in person (when I am not comfortable enough to be loud), and a lot of things I self-censor out of habit. Then again, I've noticed myself slipping more here and there, for example, the fact that my parents don't seem to be too upset about an f-bomb here or there, although I still cut back a lot from my daily usage. (We all have Cee Lo Green to thank for the progress on that front.) And some things are such an accident that they take me by surprise, which I can only attribute to my theory on aging; which is that I am very perceptive to age and relative positions of authority, and it's so much ingrained that I am nearly six years out of high school and friends with old teachers whom I cannot call by their first names, or at least, it still feels uncomfortable to do so. It's detrimental in that I assume people in classes above me (and usually my own grade level) are all older than me, and in grades below, younger. Although in the past few years I've realized classes below me are often my own age, and in odd situations like my age-out year, I'm actually the oldest. That was a weird but ultimately freeing experience. BUT! Back to my point-- sometimes something is ingrained enough in my internal monologue voice that it slips into the everyday regardless of my social position, which I attribute to two things: 1) my continued blogging and internetting for so many years and the development and strengthening of that voice, which I am proud of, and 2) as I've come into more experiences where I am older or more knowledgeable I've gained confidence in my own abilities (like working the holiday job? Very yes) and let down my guard somewhat, in regards to social situations. Which is good in that I am happier, more confident in myself, and put more trust in my skills. But the down side is that I'm also more risky, more likely to slip up-- like the fact that I apparently scare my classmates with all my swearing (although they seem more entertained than actually offended, I just don't want to cause any actual problems).

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mercat

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